


No pain no gain.

by Claire07



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-05-25 11:39:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14976407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claire07/pseuds/Claire07
Summary: Bernie never leaves the Army.However she meets her new therapist Major Serena Campbell





	1. Receiving the news.

**Author's Note:**

> This is AU.  
> Something I came up with in a dream! Stupid I know.  
> Hope you enjoy  
> Going to be a slow burn.

Bernie is about to leave the Darwin Ward of Holby City Hospital. Ollie and Guy did a sterling job of fixing her spinal fractures; she can now walk again and is hoping to go back to the army rehabilitation unit to try to regain her full strength and fitness back.   
Her aim is simple she wants to be back on the front line.   
She has no intention of doing a desk job, she would train others again but understands she cannot do that until she is strong enough to stand for several hours in surgery.

Bernie has had a less than amicable divorce from her husband as he found out that she had an affair with another woman; whilst away in the battlefield. Her children are now in contact again but the conversation is short between them; some due to frustration from herself because she cannot do what she wants, some from them because she lied about her sexuality and had an affair behind their father’s back.   
Bernie was a lesbian, a newly discovered lesbian.

As soon as she was discharged she ordered a taxi straight to the barracks. Her appointment with her CO was in about an hour and she wanted to get dressed into her uniform before she left the ward; she needed a little help she asked one of the nurses; It was the boots that she struggled with mostly she managed the rest with a little help.

She arrived on the barracks and was greeted with a warm welcome from her CO. After much deliberation and a lot of persuasion on her part he agreed that she can go to the rehab centre but there are conditions.   
1\. She attends all sessions as ordered by her physiotherapist. Not one to be missed. ‘I can do that she thought’.   
2\. You must attend counselling “I don’t” was as far as she got before he gave her the ‘look’!. She nodded.   
3\. By the time you have finished all of your therapy sessions; both mental and physical, you must be able to complete the assault. course and the mandatory run. 

“If you do all of that and pass with flying colours - not scraping through - then you can go back on the front line. If not then its a desk job or medical discharge. Its up to you, you decide.” He stated firmly.  
Bernie agreed to it all and she was escorted to her new flat to drop her belongings off. As soon as she unpacked she headed straight over to the rehab unit.

It was at the rehab unit where she was introduced to Major Campbell.  
Major Campbell is the lead physiotherapist and is a general surgeon too!   
“Good afternoon Major Campbell, nice to meet you” She greeted Serena with and a firm handshake. “I would like to thank you for agreeing to take me on at such short notice.”  
“Hello Major Wolfe, I wouldn’t thank me just yet. I may end up as your worst enemy; that is if I am doing my job right! We have a lot to get through.” Serena retorted sternly. “Shall I show you around the facilities?”   
Bernie got her hackles raised and nodded. ‘Why would she be my worst enemy?’ She thought. “Lead the way Major.”

Serena guided her around the facilities and gave her some training uniform, a schedule and told her to attend the following day at 7:30 am sharp.  
With that Serena turned around and headed back to her office.  
Bernie stood there for a few minutes before leaving the facilities.   
Next place to sort was her counselling sessions.   
Dr Hansen would be her counsellor. He is tall, dark haired, smartly dressed and very quiet. ‘I just need to get through these sessions as quickly as possible’ she thinks as she leaves the therapists office.

Home she heads until she is spotted by some of her old unit and dragged to the NAFFI bar.   
They reminisce about their time on the front line and training that they did together; Some of the younger soldiers only heard rumours about Major Wolfe, some were true but most of them were exaggerated - not that she would tell them!  
She staggers back to her flat in the early hours singing ‘well not what the others called it’ at the top of her voice. Her song of choice was Don’t stop me now by Queen. She tells everyone that can hear no one will stop her getting back to full fitness and back with her troop.  
The lads cheer and encourages her as she sings full throttle.  
She finally arrives back at the flat suitably drunk to fall asleep deeply.


	2. First day of physio.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not the best impression to make.

Bernie turns up at the rehab unit late and smelling of a brewery.   
Serena kicks her straight back out and tells her that she has one more chance and to come back tomorrow “SOBER” she barks.  
Bernie was at least embarrassed by her actions and goes straight back to her flat to sleep it off.

6 Hours later Bernie hears a banging on her door. She tells them to “FOH! And leave her alone.” Though the glass panel of the door she hears a very familiar pissed off voice “Open this door NOW MAJOR, before I kick it in!” Serena bellows. Bernie gets quickly to her feet - well as quickly as she can - placing a robe over her body and answers the door.  
“What can I do for you Major Campbell” she asks while looking at the floor, still embarrassed after being thrown out of her first therapy session.  
“You can get dressed for starters.” She replies annoyed.

Bernie goes straight to her bedroom to get dressed in her gym uniform. Serena heads to the kitchen and makes them both a sandwich. When Bernie enters the kitchen again she is surprised by the sandwich being thrusted at her and a cup of coffee slammed down in front of her. “Thank you” was all she can say.  
Serena tells her that as her physio she has to ensure that she is eating sufficiently and that the place is suitably equipped for her needs.   
She needs to do a full assessment of her capabilities in her flat. Bernie nods and asks if she wants to start now as she is here. Serena places her lips in a straight line trying to stop a rhetorical retort coming out other mouth.   
“That is why I am here, but I think that we need to set a few ground rules, don’t you?”  
Bernie nods and listens knowing that this is her last chance before she is medically discharged for good.

 

Serena starts “You turn up sober and on time. Preferably 10 minutes before your session starts to warm up! Yes Major?”   
“Fair enough and I apologise for this morning it will not happen again.” Bernie says sincerely .

“You do exactly as I say. Nothing more or less.” With a raised eyebrow Serena quips  
“Yes Major” Bernie smiles into the response.

Serena places her hands on her hips and forcefully states “You have to stop your drinking, unless you are with me where I can limit what you have.”   
Bernie gives her a puzzled look and replies “Erm, yes Major.” What else could she say; rule number 2 says it all really!

Serena points to the plate and gently admonishes “You have to eat properly. I can help if you need.”  
Bernie knows she cannot cook so any help is welcomed. “Yes thank you Major, my cooking skills burn toast!” Serena chuckles and nods.

“I am in charge, we are the same rank but you are in my playpen now Major. However I will allow you to call me Serena; if I can call you Bernice. What do you say Major?” Again her firm voice shines through.  
Bernie stutters “No……..not Bernice, Bernie yes but definitely not Bernice. My mother only ever called me Bernice when I was in trouble!”The smile is back on Serena’s face as she replies “Ok then, but I will call you Bernice when you are not doing as you are told! If you behave I will call you Bernie.”  
Bernie nodded held out her hand and said “deal and can we call a truce?”  
Serena took the hand and replied “truce”.  
Their hands lingered fastened together. As they pulled their hands away they stroked each other palm until their fingers and the grabbed the ends of the fingers in a clasp. They both look at one another as Serena turns around and says “Lets get to it then Bernie.”

They head to the front room; Serena ensures Bernie can sit and stand easily from the chairs and sofa. The dining room is next and the same happens.  
Bernie huffs at the repeated sitting then standing, Serena gives her a look that can turn water to stone, and Bernie knows she heard the huff and grins at her.  
Next was the bathroom. Bernie demonstrates she can get in and out of the bath, but struggles to sit and lies down in it. Serena tells her that she will have some grab handles put in place tomorrow. The toilet is fine and so is the shower.  
Serena points towards the next room “Is this your bedroom Bernie?”  
Bernie nods and quickly pulls the door shut. “Can you give me a minute to tidy around. Its a bit of a mess I’m afraid”. Serena nods and says 2 minutes; she heads back to the kitchen and puts the kettle back on. Just as she pours the hot water in the mugs Bernie comes back out to say she has finished.  
They enter the bedroom. Bernie all of a sudden goes red; a berry red is growing from her chest to her face.  
“I want you to get on the bed and lie down Bernie please” Serena orders.  
Bernie does as ordered but feels embarrassed as Serena needed to help to pull her back up. “We shall work on that Major” she says as she pats her upper arm as she stands up.   
Finally I need you to try and touch your toes, I need to see if you can bend down and get yourself back up without using the bed as leverage.  
She manages to bend down, as she tries to get back up she stumbles backwards into Serena. Serena gets down on her knees, put Bernies hands on her shoulders and raises until she is standing right in front of each other; noses inches apart, eyes gazing into the others. They both take a step back before heading back into the kitchen.

They drink their coffee’s in silence while Serena writes up some notes. She hands a copy to Bernie explaining where she is at physio wise and what are her next steps.  
Bernie nods along at all of the right places but her mind has wandered off.  
“Thats when we get to chase the ducks around the water” Serena chirps as Bernie again nods.   
“BERNICE” Serena shouts as she slams her hand on the table.  
That startles Bernie out of her daydream and brings her attention back to what Serena was saying. She apologises and looks back at the paper.  
“Hydrotherapy?” She asks. “Yes Bernie, 5 minutes in a cold bath followed by 15 minutes in a warm bath after every session is required. It helps to heal the muscles.” Bernie just sits there with her mouth open.   
She has never had her scars on display before; she starts to panic.   
Serena places a hand on her lower back and calls her name quietly and tells her to breath in for 3 seconds in and 6 seconds out. She repeats this until Bernie’s breathing calmed down enough.  
“What caused that little episode?” Serena asks gently.  
Bernie is quiet for a few minutes; Serena allows her the time to tell her what she is feeling.  
“I have many scars………they have not been seen by anyone before apart from my surgeons………I don’t want people to see them.” Bernie whispers.  
“I can’t allow you to be on your own in there Health and Safety you see. Well how about I just make it me and you? No one else will be allowed in the room. How does that sound?” Serena asks.  
Bernie nods “Just me and you? I can change in the room before and afterwards?”   
Serena confirms that can happen but there are no cubicles in the room. However she would give her as much privacy as possible; and would only help if requested. Bernie smiles and nods.

Serena gets up to leave “8pm NAFFI bar Major. Don’t be late!” She says over her shoulder. “Yes boss!” Bernie replies in jest and mock salutes.

8pm arrives and as promised Bernie is sitting and waiting for Serena in one of the booths. She waited for Serena to arrive before getting the drinks in “whats your tipple Serena?”   
“Shiraz please……..by the bottle!” Bernie grins orders and pays for the bottle of red and returns with 2 glasses. 

Small talk is made until Bernie asks a question.  
“Serena, why would you be my worst enemy. You said it yesterday! That you would end up being my worst enemy!” Serena smiles, looks around and shouts “Everyone down and give me 20!” Every member in the NAFFI bar (apart from Bernie) including bar staff got straight down and did 20 push ups. Bernie spotted 2 Generals completing the exercise and looked back at her puzzled.  
“What? How? Why?” Was all she got out.  
Serena replied “You are in my playpen, you will do what I say when I say it - rule number 2! No one has never yet defied that order after the time of trying. Those 2 Generals there were hit by an IED and needed physio for a while. If they want my further help they will always do as I say! I can easily make grown men cry!” The grin was seen by Bernie.   
“I think my therapist is a control freak! You do know I enjoy pushing boundaries?” Bernie asks.  
“I have seen your file. You are a great medic but you are rubbish at following orders….but trust me, try to be my friend rather than my enemy. Its far better for you that way. If I can break a General I am sure I can break you!”Serena says with a wink.  
With that the bottle is finished and Bernie is ordered to go home. “7:30am sharp and don’t make me mad!” Were her final words. Bernie salutes “Aye Aye Major”.


	3. You are the devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena is being a task master.  
> Bernie thinks it would be easier to go back to basic training.

Bernie is well known for her punishing training sessions with the new recruits. “If you can’t deal with it here in a training room how can you deal with it in the field?” She used to bellow when they couldn’t do the basics of blood loss management. But Major Serena Campbell was the devil incarnate! She is even worse that her training PT instructor in basic training; Sgt Knowls used to run them until they couldn’t walk; the rope assault course was a bugger, if you didn’t run it within the time allowed, you were back at the start early morning until you did!

Major Serena Campbell had sweat dripping from all over Bernies body. And apparently this is just the warm up! 3 minutes at a fast run pace, 10 minutes at a fast walking pace, stretches in every direction before anything else then doing muscle building exercises with 2kg weights on!  
Bernie was laid on her back already. Serena was smirking at her with her foot tapping on the mat. “Ready to start your workout Bernie?” She joyfully asked.  
Bernie huffed and tried to get up of the floor. She managed to roll over on to her stomach, then all fours but struggled from there. Serena knelt down like in her bedroom and helped her up. “Core strengthening is needed too I think.” Bernies eyes widened “more exercises” was her response.  
“If you want to be at full fitness your core is the key my dear Bernice.” Serena stated plainly. Bernie nodded but cringed at the use of her full name.

Serena went to fetch a ball that has a wooden circle surrounding it. “On you get, keep it still and try not to fall off!” She said as she placed on the floor in front of her.  
“A space hopper is going to get my core sorted?” Bernie questioned amused! “I used to do these as a child! And with my children!”  
Serena held out her hands “Well this should be easy for you then. Hop on Major!”  
Bernie tried to do it without the help of Serena, after 3 attempts Serena playfully slapped her hand and held them out again. This time Bernie took the hands and managed to get on at least; only falling when she let go.  
Bernie’s frustration was increasing and so was her temper. Serena stopped that exercise and told her to stand on one leg. Bernie did this with ease; she was then told to lift her leg higher - mid calf - and then close her eyes. As soon as Bernie did this she lost her balance again. Serena was there to catch her, again their faces ended up close together. Serena coughed and stepped back “Lets try that again shall we?” Bernie nodded but kept a light hold of Serena’s hands until she stabilised herself.  
“Thats great Bernie. Lets try the other leg!” Serena encouraged.  
Again with a little help and a few attempts Bernie did manage it for a few seconds alone.

The next exercises were to build up her upper body strength again. There were a series of large elastic bands attached to steal poles. Serena showed her the different exercises and left her to it.  
Serena only went to her office and watched her through the doorway. She was watching how she had lost little strength in her upper body and was still very strong; it was noted it down to do more leg and core exercises and less upper body ones.

After 20 minutes she escorted her to the exercise bike. "I have programmed it specially for you. You can take your time but it shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes. Do not alter any of the settings…….I will be watching!” She says with a raised eyebrow.  
“Yes boss!” Bernie said again mock saluting; which earned her a playful smack to her arm. They both giggled.   
“Right your time starts now” Serena declared as Bernie started to rotate the pedals.  
7 minutes in “Are you trying to kill me Major?” Bernie asks as her legs are hurting so much they shake. “I only get this shaky doing one particular exercise regime, and I like mine better than yours……oh and I’m sure it does my core good too!” She pants out.   
Serena gives her a look that she knows exactly what type of ‘exercise regime’ she is talking about.   
“What you get up to with your husband is your business Major!” Serena starts to say before she is interrupted by Bernie. “No husband I’m afraid. A single lesbian here……so unfortunately no extra exercises for me; so I guess I’m stuck with just yours for now!”  
Serena blushed, coughed and replied “Well you never know your luck!” - ‘why did I just say that?’ Was the immediate thought through her head! Followed by ‘Don’t go there again! Its been too long since Stepney!’  
Bernie nearly had whiplash from her comment ‘what was that supposed to mean?’ She thought! The rest of the exercise was completed in silence. Both women trying to gauge each others reactions without the other noticing.

“Well done Bernie. Lets get you to the baths now, cold first then the warm bath. Have you got your costume and clothes handy?” Serena asked shyly.  
Bernie nodded and unsteadily got her items and followed Serena into the room.  
The door was locked and Bernie used the chair to get changed. Serena had her back turned, but there was a small mirror; she couldn’t help but to take in the beauty of Bernie; scars or no scars.  
Bernie stated she was ready and Serena helped her into the frozen bath; she ignored the rather loud expletives that came from Bernie. “You are definitely the ‘devil incarnate’ Serena. This is just pure evil!” Bernie stated shivering. Serena was chuckling “you will thank me in a minute” she states noticing she had been in there for 4 minutes.  
Finally Bernie got into the warm tub! “Oh that is nice” she hummed as she lowered herself in, completely submerging herself.  
“That one better for you?” Serena whispered in her ear. Bernie nodded “you should try it sometime!” She retorted.  
“Oh I have my share of hot jacuzzi’s. I am a member of the local health spa, their massages are to die for!” Serena grinned at her.

After the 15 minutes was up Bernie got dressed with Serena’s back to her.   
Serena reminded her that she was only to do gentle exercises tomorrow but to be there the day after again 7:30am sharp.  
It was at this point Bernie asked her to help tomorrow evening with doing a hot meal. Serena agreed and told her that she would let her know what ingredients to get later, “I will be there at 6pm if that suits?”   
Bernie smiled and nodded “Until tomorrow.” Then left happy but extremely tired, happy and stiffening quickly.


	4. Bernie's first therapy session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start to see where Bernie is coming from.

Bernie tried to be prepared for her first therapy session with Dr Henrick Hansen. She tried to think of questions he would ask and what her responses would be. Her CO knew she didn’t like talking at the best of times, so talking about her feelings was like sticking a hot poker in her eyes.  
Bernie felt she could compartmentalise her feelings and her work easily. She has been doing it for as long as she knew. ‘Why would I want to unlock any drawers in my mind?’ She thought

She arrived 10 minutes before her appointment time - ‘Major Campbell is already putting things in my mind’ she thinks ‘always be 10 minutes early’ had been going through her mind all morning.  
The tall dark haired man called her in and silently instructed her to take a seat. He looked at her notes and sat back. “Major Wolfe why do you think you have been made to come to this therapy session?” He asked dryly.  
Bernie wanted to say ‘I was forced to come or my CO ordered it!’ But she didn’t her reply was “because I got blown up, my friends died and I survived!” She said nonchalantly.  
He nodded and wrote something down. “How do you feel about that?” He asked.  
Here we go I have an answer for this “It is part of the job!” She said chirps.  
Again he wrote something down, “that is not what I asked! I asked how do you feel about it?” His tone becoming stern.  
‘I just answered it’ she thought. Starting to panic for an answer he as interrupted her thoughts; “We shall come back to that question next time. How are you recovering?” He asked.  
“Erm, well I supposed. It could have been a lot worse! I am glad to be back.” She stuttered.   
He nodded “What are you expecting to do when you complete the mandatory sessions with myself and Major Campbell?”  
Her head came straight up at the mention of the majors name “erm, I want to be fit again, to be like how I was before.” She answered going red at the cheeks.  
“Do you think that is possible, to be like you were before?” Dr Hansen questioned.  
She nodded emphatically “I do. There is no reason why I can’t, just need some hard work putting in and focus thats all.”  
Again he made notes then looked at her and waited to see if she would add anything else but she didn’t.   
“Do you have any hobbies outside of your work Major Wolfe?” He enquired.  
Bernie wasn’t expecting that question, she thought for a few minutes “I run, well I used to run………I like judo, erm, but, erm, I can’t do that just now…….I like music but most of that is with my ex-husband……thats about it really” she finished.  
“I think you need to find a hobby, something to wind down with or to do when you are bored or anxious.” He states.  
‘Anxious’ she thinks ‘I’m not anxious’. “Erm, Dr Hansen……what makes you think I am anxious?” She cautiously asks.  
He looks at her up and down and quietly points to her jittering knees. She wasn’t aware of her doing it; he then points to her hands that are wringing together - she thought that was just her being her. She tried to stop doing it but shoe would only stop for a few seconds.  
“I will look into something and let you know.” She sheepishly replies knowing he must be onto something.

“My final question is one I have asked before………How do you feel about what has happened to you?”  
She thought about it and replied annoyed “Bloody shit!”  
This got a smile out of him, he managed to get somewhere; he finally had an honest answer.

He handed over a small book, she looked at him puzzled. “I want you to write in here how you feel. Wether you are angry, sad, confused, happy etc.” She took the book and flicked through the empty pages. He continued “I want you to think about why you feel them! Bring to with you next week at our next appointment.”Bernie nodded and left after making her appointment.

When she arrived back in her flat she placed the notebook on the coffee table and thought about what he said - ‘write down how I feel! That means I need to think about what I am feeling and why I am feeling it……this is stupid’ she thinks.  
She heads out of the barracks to do a food shop as Serena sent her the list of ingredients and of course she has none of them in! Once completed the shopping and placed it away she sat and enjoyed a peaceful afternoon; looking at the book every now and then, trying to work out how she feels whilst she was waiting for 6pm to arrive - for Major Campbell to arrive.


	5. Cooking with Major Campbell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Serena helps Bernie to cook and starts to discover her feelings.

Lasagne was on the menu for tonight, Bernie had got the ingredients at told by Serena. She arrived 10 minutes early and Bernie smiled when she heard the knock at the door. Major Campbell was standing there in a long flowing skirt, dark blue v-neck satin top and a woolly wrap on her shoulders.   
Bernie took this all in with a smile, rosy cheeks and nod for her to enter “Thank you for coming Major” Bernie said as she was taking her wrap to hang it up. “Serena please if I can call you Bernie?” She replied nervously. Bernie smiled and nodded as they went into the kitchen.

Serena helped Bernie to get out all of the ingredients and equipment that they would need and placed it in order. She gave the instructions to Bernie while looking over her shoulder closely to make sure she was completing each task correctly and wrapping her arms around her waist to show her what to do, if she wasn’t.  
Both of them comfortable around each other but also uncomfortable being so close to one another, however every time one of them stepped about 3 steps away they were drawn back to brushing up against each other again.

Finally the lasagne was in the oven and they had made extra for the freezer, Serena placed a bottle of shiraz on the counter and opened it to breathe. They headed into the lounge with a glass of water each and waited for the lasagne to cook, discussing the ways to adapt it to make spaghetti bolognese or chilli and rice.   
“I shall write it all down for you so you know what to do on your own next time” Serena says as Bernie has gone deathly quiet but so red it made them uncomfortable to sit in silence.  
Bernie informed her that she went to see the ‘shrink’ today and he gave her homework but she didn’t understand why she needed to fill it in.

“Feelings have everything to do with what we do in life in every way. Look at tonight……you knew you couldn’t cook and took me up on my offer to show you a recipe so you can cook it for yourself again…..why was that?” Serena questioned.  
Bernie took a few minutes to think about it as ‘I want to spend time with you’ she thought was inappropriate. “You said I needed to eat properly to get better, I want to get better; so I needed to learn how to cook……I don’t think eating pizza or chip shop every night was what you meant!” She retorts.  
Serena looks at her wide eyed and asked “You know what you need to do to get better, but why do you need to get better……..why do you feel that you need to do this……come back to the army?”   
Bernie caught on “I wanted to come back because I didn’t know what else to do, the army has always been there for me like a family……….I wouldn’t know what to do without this! I think I would crumble.” Serena smiled at her and gave her the book. “Write that down Bernie about how you feel if you had to leave, I shall give you a few minutes alone, to do it.”   
She left the room to go to the bathroom then poured the wine. Bernie came into the kitchen and handed her the open book. Serena immediately closed it “this book is personal to you and shall remain so; it is not for me to comment on how you should feel, you just have to recognise the feeling, and understand why you feel it.” Serena stated clearly but affectionately with her hand on Bernie’s bicep.  
Bernie nodded and placed it back on the coffee table in the lounge.   
When the buzzer sounded she went to get the lasagne - which smelled fantastic - out of the oven, she plated a portion for Serena and herself and manage to eat it with comfortable conversation between them.   
When both plates were cleared and positive comments came from Serena they both headed back to the lounge.

As the night went on they laughed over re-runs of Mrs Browns Boys, criticised the doctors in Casualty and sat glancing at each other trying to avoid each others gaze.   
Serena went to stand to leave as it was past ‘her bedtime’, Bernie went to reach her wrap and placed it on her shoulders with a kiss to her cheek. “Thank you for tonight Serena and I would love the recipe’s if you don’t mind writing them down for me…..but could we do this again?” Bernie’s eyes were at her feet as she asked. Serena placed a lingering kiss on her cheek and agreed that she would come next week to show her how to cook a different meal, Bernie smiled and nodded as she left.

Bernie went back to the lounge to finish her drink and looked at the diary. She picked it up and started to write again, as soon as she finished she set her alarm for her physio appointment the next day and went to bed. It was almost immediately she fell asleep for the best nights sleep she has had in months.


	6. The 2nd day of Physiotherapy.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkward.  
> Bernie has a little fun and Serena gets her revenge.

Bernie was at the gym early and started to do her warm up exercises when Serena came out of the office, She just stood there and watched Bernie go through the set warm up routine that they started 2 days ago.   
Her gaze shifted slightly to her face; the way Bernie was already sweating and her face making different patterns, through pain and its release; The way her arm muscles were working under the strain of the elastic bands working her biceps and her toned legs as she stretched on the mat. 

Bernie caught the gaze and her cheeks flushed berry red. She called out for Serena who shook her head out of the revere and wandered over to her “Good Morning Bernie, nice and early I see!” As she was too now flushed at her cheeks.  
“Morning Serena, here and raring to go although I am a little stiff and my back has been twinging somewhat. I promise I only did do gentle exercises yesterday as promised.” Bernie said quiet shyly to Serena and she nodded.

Serena guided her to a massage table and told her to sit on it facing away from her; She then put some warm oil on her hands and worked through the knots in Bernies back. Bernie gasped, sighed and moved every now and then depending how sore she was in that particular place, “you didn’t have to do this Serena” Bernie whispered.  
“I do Major, otherwise you would be worse for wear tomorrow and we are going to the Naffi bar again if you are free!” She replied quietly.  
Bernie blushed as she thanked her and agreed to go to the Naffi bar on following evening.

As soon as the massage was done she told her to repeat the stretching exercises to see how she felt now. Miraculously she felt great! She managed to do all of them without even grimacing once. 

So they proceeded to do the balancing exercises, Bernie managed to get on with no help, but needed help to balance on it and get it straight. Holding onto Serena hands sent tingles through her fingers all the way up to her arms. Exactly the same happened when balancing on each leg while holding onto Serena. Every time she closed her eyes she saw Serena sitting on her sofa drinking wine together, looking over her glass at her.  
‘What is happening?’ Bernie had going through her head, ‘why are you fantasising about Serena?’ She was confused but brushed it to one side to concentrate on her exercises.

Serena had changed her treadmill and bike exercises to make it a little longer and harder. Bernie cursed her at every opportunity and Serena just smiled at her “you will thank me in the end Bernice!” She said affectionately.   
Bernie hummed in disagreement but managed the tasks easily enough.

Then it was that time again the freezing bloody cold bath for 5 long arduous minutes; Again cursing loudly and splashing around a little. “You find this funny don’t you Major?” Bernie says flatly to Serena; Then picked up a piece of ice and placed it down her back as she turned away. Bernie honked a loud laugh as Serena screamed and jumped up and down until the piece of ice dropped out of her top! “You will pay for that Major!” Serena playfully scorned her.  
Bernie’s smile became bigger “How will I pay for it?” She asked throwing another piece at her. Serena picked up a jug, filled it with the iced water and dumped it over her head, it was Bernie that screamed this time while Serena was crying with laughter.   
Bernie get out of the water and grabbed Serena into a hug, she squealed and tried to push her away as their eyes met. A few seconds of gazing into each others eyes; Bernie lets go with a small cough and takes a couple of steps back.  
Serena pointed to the warm bath for her to get into and she does. Both again glancing at each other, trying not to show the other one they are looking at the other one. The 15 minutes dragged but went to quickly at the same time.

“No physio tomorrow Bernie, light exercise only and I will see you at the bar at 8pm if that is ok?” Serena spoke first. Bernie nodded “Until tomorrow then.” She replied.  
“Until tomorrow, bye Bernie” Serena said after curiously watching Bernie get dressed.


	7. An awkward evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They meet at the bar and awkward conversation ensues.

They both met each other as they arrived at the bar entrance at the same time. Serena smiled at Bernie as she held the door open for her, they headed straight to the bar where Bernie orders the usual bottle of shiraz.  
They ended up in the same booth as last time, both looking at each other sheepishly not knowing what to say to each other.

It was Bernie that initiated the conversation “I wrote some more in the book, but I am not sure I am doing it right!”  
“How so?” She asked quietly.  
“Do I put any feelings down in the book that I have, about anything or do I keep it about the army, training or nightmares?” Bernie asks scared of the reply.  
“I would go for it all for now. That any feeling you are unsure about especially why you think you feel them I would write it down……..you may find a pattern and your own answer by doing so, it may take a couple of times feeling it to understand it but I am sure you will eventually understand!” Serena smiles in reply.

Bernie nods and they talk then in a comfortable fashion; They discuss their family, their marriages (both ended in divorce), how they became medics and why Serena changed from doctor to a physiotherapist, to their holidays previous and one that Serena has already booked.  
The time flew and soon it was 10:30 as they said their goodbyes, Bernie placing a kiss to Serena’s cheek and a hand on Bernies bicep from Serena, they went their separate ways.

Just before Bernie went around the corner “Oh Bernie, is Curry ok for Friday?” Bernie smiled at her and nodded “I will give a list of ingredients to you tomorrow at your appointment if that is ok?”   
Bernie replied cheerfully “Sounds great, see you tomorrow usual time!”  
“Until tomorrow” Serena said  
“Until tomorrow” Bernie replied with a small wave.

Bernie headed straight home to her ‘book of feelings’ as she now calls it. She writes down how she has felt being around Major Campbell, the tingles in her hands, the warm feeling in her cheeks, the fuzzy feeling when she gets caught looking at her and she is sure Serena is looking at her too, but puts her observing down to her job.   
She also puts in about her nightmares that re-occur every now and then, the fact that she feels the need to hide away in the dark or needs to feel the duvet tight around her.   
The uneasy feeling, not of being scared of the past so much; but unsure of what the future may hold alone, she thinks. 

She writes down that she always had a plan and if that went wrong she always had a plan b; but she cant seem to find a solution for plan b, or any plan b in fact!  
Her final piece is about her fears regarding her new found sexuality; she found that she likes women! Her divorce and affair has thrown her into the unknown, her affair broke down as soon as she got blown up and her husband understandably hated her for lying all this time! 10 years to be with someone who doesn’t like men or doesn’t love him, he thought was disgraceful.   
She wanted to make it right but knew she couldn’t. Trying to come to terms with all of this was un-nerving.   
Once it was all out of her system, she found herself to be relaxed so headed to bed to see what tomorrow brings.


	8. Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie is even more confused and Serena tells her a few home truths.

Bernie had 2 appointments today ‘Why do I do this to myself, physio and counselling on the same day!’.   
The first was awkward again with Major Campbell and she discussed this with Dr Hansen; although she didn’t know why it was awkward. She was used to be ordered around by other ranking officers and was sure that it wasn’t that, but couldn’t pin point why she felt this way. 

She discussed that they were meeting on Friday so Serena could show her how to make a Curry from scratch, for treatment and nurishment purposes only! She reiterates.  
Dr Hansen silently notes this all down and smiles at her, which unsettles her even more.  
“You have put in your diary about your change in sexuality has been acknowledged recently, and that is the reason for your divorce!” He plainly states.  
Bernie nods shyly.  
“Do you think that this is a reason for not having a plan b; at all? You knew where you stood with your husband, even though you were unhappy in your marriage / relationship; but now you are free to explore you don’t know what to look for or forward too?” He asked while placing his fingers in a pyramid formation looking at her directly.  
Bernie looked at him like he had 2 heads. “What do you mean?” She asked confused.

“I think you want to look for another person to share your life with; but don’t know where to start! It looks to me you have very little friends and do not have any or very little contact with your family; so conversation with another human outside of the army and training is what you struggle with! Maybe you should start there?” He explains.

Bernie is embarrassed by his statement because he is correct.   
The conversation with her children is icy, she has no parents as they have died. No siblings, all of her friends are comrades except for one, she thinks the Major Campbell is a friend.   
‘Is that why I feel so awkward around her?’ She thinks.  
Bernie nods in acceptance to what Dr Hansen said.

“Your homework along with the book is to have a conversation with another person that does not involve your work in the army. It can be about anything else, just not your work. Is that clear Major?” He orders.  
“Right” she replies “I will have a go!” Bernie starts to form a plan in her head of who she could talk to………supermarket cashier, pizza delivery guy, bar person at the Naffi and Major Campbell ‘if I can string a sentence together that is’ she thinks.  
Bernie shakes Dr Hansens hand and makes her next appointment with his secretary for a few days time and heads off to the supermarket to get the ingredients Serena gave her earlier, after physiotherapy had finished.

She finds talking to other people difficult.   
She asks about the weather with everyone she meets ‘how very British’ she thinks!   
It then progresses onto pets, which is short lived as she doesn’t have any!   
Bernie chats about favourite pizza toppings to have on the pizza with the delivery guy and he suggests having the wedges and chicken strips too as they are hot and spicy! Bernie thinks he is trying to flirt with her after that comment; She nods and smiles at him in return - hardly a conversation but its a start!

Then she goes to meet Serena in the Naffi bar with the bottle of shiraz open, breathing while she is waiting for Serena to arrive.   
Thats when it all goes to pot!   
They discuss training, exercises, massaging and the weather; that was about the gist of their conversation when it suddenly halted.

“Have you spoken to your children lately?” Serena enquires gently knowing it is a sore spot. Bernie nods, the kids are well and are still at university, but they will not come and see me while I am still in the Army! They disagree with me trying to come back; which is annoying as their upbringing was all because of the army….their education, most of their friends, they were able to do their out of school activities was all because I was in the army! They seem so ungrateful.” Bernie was on a roll!   
Serena just listened until she brought up the accident.

“Do you think that they don’t want to come here because it was the accident that nearly killed you……. and injured you so badly that you nearly ended up in a wheelchair?” Serena asked.  
Bernie huffed, slammed her drink down and went to leave. She got as far as the door when Serena caught up with her. She grabbed her by the elbow and escorted her to the local park to walk around while trying to carry on the conversation.

“I am sorry if I upset you Bernie, I really didn’t mean to do that.” Serena quietly muttered.  
Bernie stopped in her tracks, looked down at her feet as she spoke “I know what nearly happened, but this is all I have left. I have no marriage, no partner, no skills out of the army, no love of my life and the list goes on. Why should I have to give up the one thing that is alway stable in my life?” She asks in return.

“You do have other opportunities though Bernie, you could work for the NHS or private hospital, you do have skills but its just at the moment you can’t use them the way you were used to! ……. The love of your life will come when you least expect it!” Serena replies honestly. “Why do you think so lowly of yourself? You are truly magnificent, your strong, courageous, well loved by your peers and comrades and I think highly of you too as a strong woman!” Serena is looking into her eyes while reeling of these things she likes about Bernie.

Bernie goes red, not that anyone can tell in the darkness as they stand by the pond. She wraps her arms around Serena for a hug.  
“Thank you for talking to me Serena” she whispers and places a kiss onto her cheek as she lets a tear fall.  
“My pleasure Bernice” She replies as they go their separate ways.  
“Until tomorrow Serena”“Until tomorrow Bernice”.


	9. Curry night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The awkward angst of our two favourite people selling out.

Bernie had thought about what Serena said the day before. No one had ever told her that she nearly died! Bernie knew deep down as she lost members of her unit in the same accident, but Serena was the only one who actually acknowledged the fact to her face; Because of this she felt though she owed her children an apology.   
Bernie rang Cameron and Charlotte to ask them to meet her in town, they agreed as it was not on or anywhere near the barracks; she let out a long sigh as she was waiting for them at a local town cafe.

When Cameron and Charlie arrived she enveloped them into a bone crushing hug.   
“Thank you for meeting with me……..I want to apologise for frightening you while I was away on tour and for what happened with the affair!”   
Bernies children didn’t look at her while she apologised. She did not continue until they looked up from the floor at her. 

Cameron told her that he was disappointed that she went back to the army and chose that over them again.   
Charlotte continued “why did you have the affair mum, with Alex especially?” A tear dropped down Charlottes cheek and Bernie went to wipe it away but Charlotte turned her face away and allowed the tear to fall of her face.

“I didn’t intend to have the affair, it just happened! There was a particularly bad day, we lost several men and women in a unprovoked attack; I needed some comfort and she was there……..then we couldn’t stop seeing each other even though we both knew it was wrong!” Bernie replied honestly.

“Did you ever think of us at all?” Cameron asked angrily.

“Of course I did, every day……I love you……..I just am not in love with your dad anymore, if I am honest, I don’t think I was ever in love with him! We always had a strong bond, but being in love is different…….I never had that with Alex neither” she retorted ashamed.

“So what was it then mum?” Charlotte asked.

“It was an outlet, a physical need for someone. Lust I suppose having something that you know you shouldn’t! We know we wouldn’t work back home; but it was what we both needed at the time!” Bernie is now in tears herself.

Cameron and Charlotte put their hands over hers to show some comfort and for finally being truthful.   
They knew she didn’t mean to hurt them, but it did and they couldn’t forgive her just yet. At least the conversation was started and left open for them to continue in the future.  
It was time for Cameron to start his shift so they had to leave; Bernie hugged them and they said their goodbyes before she headed back to the barracks.

The first place that she headed after changing at her flat was the physiotherapy gym. She knew that she could do gentle exercise but needed to work out her frustrations of the day…..no the last few months; in a safe environment, and the gym was as good as any place!

She started by doing gentle stretches before headed to the bike then the treadmill. Bernie was spotted by Donna another physiotherapist who in turn told Serena that Bernie was there!   
Serena was unimpressed and went to go and talk to Bernie but was stopped in her tracks by the frustration displayed on Bernies face; she wondered if she was the cause of this after yesterdays frank discussion. Serena left her to it but kept a close eye on what she was doing.

After working out for over an hour at the gym Serena went to tell politely to leave. “Bernie you need to go, you have done enough for today………you will suffer over the weekend if you carry on! But I am glad that you came here and not anywhere else.” Bernie nodded and smiled at her.  
“You still ok for later?” Bernie asked and Serena replied “I will be there around 6pm, if that is ok?”  
Bernie smiled “until later Serena”  
“Until later Bernie”.

Ten minutes before 6pm Serena was knocking at the door with a couple bottles of beer. Bernie looked at her inquisitively “beer?”   
Serena smiled and nodded “Red wine does not particularly go well with curry, so I brought beer instead!”  
Bernie blushed and used her hand to invite Serena to the kitchen. The beer was placed in the fridge and Bernie got out the ingredients ready.

“We need to marinate the chicken for about an hour before we can cook it but we will use that time to make the naan bread if you like?” Serena asks.  
“Garlic naan?” Bernie retorts and Serena nods eagerly.

They marinated the chicken and make the dough for the naan bread. They do this quicker than Serena anticipated so they sat in the lounge together with a cold beer, leaving plenty of time prove and marinate properly.

“I am really sorry if I upset you yesterday Bernie, that wasn’t my intention honestly……….I could just see it from their perspective.” Serena whispers while placing her hand on Bernies forearm stroking the underside.

“I am glad you did say it, it did hurt at the time but it made me think……I met and spoke to my children today and got to explain things…..that wouldn’t of happened if you didn’t tell me what you did…… so thank you.” Bernie had a tear in her eye again so Serena went to hug her but Bernie misplaced her head and they ended up brushing their lips together before Bernie pulled away quickly.

“I….erm…….we…need to do the curry” Bernie stammered as she went into the kitchen leaving Serena bewildered.

Eventually Serena did follow her and showed her how to cook the curry, rice and naan bread after coating it lots of garlic butter. They worked together seamlessly but in virtual silence; only for the instructions given out or questions to see if Bernie was doing it correctly.  
After they dished up and put several in the freezer again, they tried to get back to conversing; neither of them mentioned what happened in the lounge. As soon as they finished their meal Serena abruptly left.   
Leaving Bernie again confused.

Bernie wrote what had happened in her book, about her children and the honest conversation they were finally able to have that relieved some tension; She also wrote about her confusing feelings towards Serena, she stated that she finds having male friends far easier than female ones…..now she knows she likes women sexually.   
She would discuss this further with Dr Hansen on Tuesday. 

For this weekend she will chill out and relax or well she will at least try to!


	10. A bad Monday and physio.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It starts off well, but then it goes down bank.

Bernie arrived to her physio appointment early and looks around for Serena, but she cannot see her anywhere. Bernie thinks that she could be late so makes a start on the warm up exercises ready for when she arrives. After completing the warm up exercises she still hasn’t seen Serena; so approaches the desk to ask for her.

“I’m sorry Major Wolfe Serena isn’t in today.” A small voice appears from behind the desk “I am afraid she wont be in for a few weeks.”   
Bernie looked at her perplexed, Serena hadn’t said anything to her last night…… did it have anything to do with the kiss?……..was it because of her that Serena isn’t in?  
“Major Campbell is on leave so you have me I’m afraid.” Donna chirps happily bouncing on the balls of her feet, with her clip board held tightly to her chest.  
Bernie nods sullenly and follows her to the first set of equipment. She completes the first therapy rather easily so Donna asks her if she wants to advance in some areas like balance and spend extra time on the treadmill; She silently nods as Donna goes back to the desk to adjust the session accordingly.

“When will she be back?” Bernie asks Donna quietly.

“In 10 days, but back at the office in about 14 days.” Donna states plainly 

“Why?” She asks.

“Major Campbell knows how I work thats all…….I don’t mean to be rude, its just I have certain hang ups about myself.” Bernie states getting flustered.

“I have several sheets of notes from Major Campbell with specific instructions on it……especially where she expects you to be when she gets back from leave.” Donna shows her the lists of notes.

“She is driving me hard when she isn’t even here” Bernie laughs.

“You and me both Major……shall we continue?” Donna giggles.

They complete the new exercises within the time frame given and Donna knows what to do when she is in the cold and warm bath, this relaxes Bernie to know that she is in good hands.  
“Donna can I ask you something?” Bernie quietly asks.

As Donna nods “anything”.

“Can you be my physio while Major Campbell is away, you know how I am……I don’t like too much change thats all.” This is all said in a whisper.

“Of course…….Major Campbell only trusts a few of us with her patients, so please don’t worry…..Oh I nearly forgot, she has left you a message…..here; read it when you get home she said.” Donna happily hands over the letter and relays the message from Serena.

Bernie heads off back home but detouring to the local health spa to make an appointment for a massage, later on that week.  
When back home she looks at the letter and places it on the coffee table next to the ‘book of thoughts’!   
Bernie picks it up and thinks about what Dr Hansen has said about communication; she thinks that she is improving a little, the conversation has started with her children who have since texted every day……yes its only 2 days since they talked at the cafe, but she has had several text messages since.   
She managed to speak to Donna fluently throughout her regime, she spoke effectively to the lady behind the desk at the spa, she has made an appointment for a massage at the spa; reiterating that she would like the masseuse and herself only to be in the room and she explains why - her scars, they completely understood as they have several ex-soldiers going there for therapy of some sort and feel the same.  
Bernie puts all of this down in her book and adds that she feels that she has had a good productive day today.

After her tea she remembers about the letter from Serena.   
It reads……….

Dear Bernie,

I am sorry about what happened when we were at your flat, before we ate the curry. 

I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, even though it was an accident - an enjoyable one at that.

I have spoken to Donna who will take on your treatment for the foreseeable future as you need to get to your full fitness without any hindrances.

I will see you around the gym and the Naffi bar if we go there at the same time, but I will not be able to treat you, meet you or help with your cooking.  
I think it is for the best.

Kind Regards  
Serena x  
Bernie is disappointed that Serena felt uncomfortable with what had happened; she rather enjoyed it too. 

‘I do not want my training to change, I was doing well and that was because of her’ she thought thorough. Bernie set a reminder to her phone to ask for a private appointment with Serena specifically when she returns from leave.

Bernie tries to sleep that night but she cannot……. ‘why do I suddenly feel empty and lonely?’ Bernie asks herself but cant figure out why she is missing Serena after just her first day of leave! ‘Surely I don’t have feelings for her?’ Bernie whispers out loud in her bedroom…… every time she closes her eyes she sees Serena with her arms around her waist cooking in her kitchen.  
‘This is stupid!’ Bernie admonishes herself ‘Serena is gorgeous yes, but she is a friend…….isn’t she?’

Bernie does eventually go to sleep; dreaming of Serena and their meetings so far.


	11. A day at the spa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie enjoys her day at the spa and gets some answers.

As part of the treatment package she had booked, Bernie was allowed to use the whole spa for the day…….she relished the thought of using the swimming pool, the sauna, oh the hot rock lounger and especially the jacuzzi. When she was on tour she dreamt of being in a jacuzzi, letting the stream of air hit her body exactly where she needed it! Heaven.

She was greeted by an over zealous receptionist who gave her a map of the facilities along with a ‘bag of goodies’ including the fluffiest towel dressing gown she has seen before. Bernie headed off in the direction on the changing room.  
Bernie changes into her royal blue with red edging swimming costume and heads straight to the swimming pool…..the swimming lanes to be precise, she doesn’t see the point of just resting in the pool, surely thats what the jacuzzi is for! What she didn’t notice as she made her way, was Serena sitting on one of the hot rock lounger, she is reading a rather great novel by Sarah Waters; she is laid down in her leopard print bikini with black lace trim, sunglasses perched on the top of her head ready for when she goes outside, black flowers flip flops are sitting besides her ready so she can slip her feet in! Completely unaware of Major Wolfe diving into the pool, gliding half way down before coming up for air.

Bernie managed to do about 30 lengths before going to the sauna; again un-noticing Serena still engrossed her book. She enters the sauna and thankfully it is empty; Bernie enjoys the peace and quiet of the spa, no unnecessary chit chat, nobody looking at her scars, just peace and quiet!  
While Bernie was in the sauna Serena had vacated the hot rock lounger to a wooden cushioned lounger by the free bar, enjoying a glass of mock-tail! She was faced down still reading her book although several chapters on.

Bernie was in the sauna for about 15 minutes before she felt the strong need for fresh air and coffee…..not necessarily in that order. She makes her way to the outside bar and orders her coffee. Serena thinks she is hearing things…..the dulcet tones of someone she is getting very close to, who she is trying to stay away from……….Bernie!Bernie was waiting for her coffee which was handed over to her so she could make her way to the table; as she treated herself to a blueberry and carrot muffin - after all she did manage 30 lengths and most probably do more after lunch.  
Serena shook her head ‘I am hearing things’ she thought and went back to her book; her concentration wavered now, the voice of Major Bernice Wolfe shook her, every time she tried to read a sentence she could her Bernie’s voice reading it too her. She envisioned Bernie sitting in her chair, resting back, reading out loud like reading erotic love poetry. Serena flung her head forward to her arms and sighed deeply. ‘I need to do something and not just sit here’ she thought to herself as she made way to the jacuzzi.

Bernie really enjoyed her muffin, collecting all of the dropped crumbs into her hand and chucked them back in her mouth! She finished her coffee and took the empty cup, saucer and plate back to the bar, to proceed to the jacuzzi.  
A nice start to trying to relax before she has her first massage of the day, the first one was a back, shoulder and neck massage. The second was a hand and foot massage - that is if she can stop laughing every time her feet are touched! Getting her toenails cut can be a nightmare if she feels overly sensitive on the day.

Bernie is looking down at the floor as she wanders over to the jacuzzi, Serena has her eyes closed trying to get the vision of ‘Bernie who is now sitting on the hot tub at the therapy room with very little on’ out of her wandering mind.   
Bernie only looks up when she enters the jacuzzi backwards at the stairs only to topple over and places her hands on Serena; Serena is broken from her dream and they come face to face in the jacuzzi, both getting flustered rather quickly.  
“Major Campbell”  
“Major Wolfe”. They say in unison with redness growing on their bodies and faces, as they come to terms seeing each other again.

Neither of them move at first, Bernies hands are still on Serena’s thigh, Serena just looks deeply into Bernies eyes, neither of them attempt to move for what feels like an hour.  
It is only when Bernie starts to wobble again as the jets under her feet start to bubble up, either of them move; Bernie sits directly opposite Serena in the jacuzzi, both looking at each other but trying to steer their gaze away too. Serena goes to get up and leave the jacuzzi when Bernie brushes her forearm with her fingers.  
“Serena…..erm….Major Campbell…..” Bernie starts.

“Serena is fine, if Bernie is ok?” Serena asks sheepishly.

Bernie nods and smiles “Stay please…..I think we need to talk….yes?” Serena sits down next to Bernie and waits for her to start.


	12. A conversation in the jacuzzi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally an honest conversation between the two of them.

They were both waiting for the other to start the conversation, they couldn’t look at each other - which was quite silly really, a brief kiss had disjointed everything.  
“I got” Bernie started as Serena spoke at the same time “I’m sor”  
They both managed to look at each other sheepishly then Serena lifted her open palm out of the water for Bernie to speak first.

Bernie gave a nervous cough and started “I erm, got your letter.” She said “why can’t you be my physio anymore Serena?” asking with pleading cautious eyes, not sure if she wants to hear the answer.

“Bernie……..I can’t. I just can’t………” She replies tears streaming down her face looking at the bubbles forcing their way to the surface.

“We were getting on so well…….I liked you as my physio, you understood me Serena, Was it?” She paused and tried to look at her hoping. Serena got up to leave the jacuzzi when she was pulled back forcefully “Please Serena, try to explain” She begs.

“I can’t work with someone who I have feelings for Bernie!” She shakily speaks, eyes downward not daring to look for her response; “yes that kiss was an accident, but I wanted more and I scared you………you couldn’t even look at me after!” Now sobbing out of embarrassment, her hands covering her face, thinking Bernie doesn’t feel the same.

“I like you Serena, I more than like you!” Bernie replies honestly trying to see if Serena listens to her; but seeing Serena not react or look up, she gets up to leave the jacuzzi.  
Its Serena’s turn to pull her down, but pulls to hard and Bernie falls unceremoniously into her lap. Serena keeps her there by pulling at her waist; their noses are touching at the side and they are finally looking at one another, gazing into their eyes no more tears spilling, just hope.  
Serena moves closer and again they chastely kiss. Bernies hands goes around Serena’s shoulders into her hair and the other onto her upper arm holding on; Serena’s hands pull gently her closer, and rubs her fingers up her battered spine.

The kiss was broken by Bernie nearly slipping off Serena’s knee, they both shyly chuckled at each other as they now sat side by side, faces gazing at each other going a deep shade of pink in their cheeks and chest; thighs, legs and bodies touching wherever possible. They know they still need to talk, but this is a starting point.  
Serena has acknowledged her attraction to Bernie and Bernie has finally realised she does have feelings to start with and they lay with her beautiful ‘stubborn old goat’ of her physiotherapist!  
Their hands graze each others and slowly they entwine their fingers and hold on tightly as they enjoy the stream of bubbles massaging their bodies, the heat coming from each other rather than the jacuzzi itself.

Bernie uses her free hand to stroke the damp fringe now stuck to Serena’s forehead. “I know you can’t be my physio and I can accept that……..but our Friday night cooking lessons? Our Wednesday evening at the Naffi bar? Can we at least still have these?” Bernie asks hoping she says yes.

Serena shakes her head. “I can’t do the Naffi bar with you anymore until your physio is over! Its too public…….but the Wednesday nights can be me cooking for you and we can still have our Fridays at yours if you would like?”Bernie beams a shy smile as her cheeks glow a deep pink again as she nods.

“I would like that very much” Bernie whispers in Serena’s ear as she presses a lingering kiss to the corner of her jaw, just below her ear. Serena melts and leans in to the kiss, brushing her own lips to Bernie’s neck.  
They both pull up at the same time and look at each other again, allowing their eyes to drift all over each other this time……..not chancing a glance like they had before.

“Can I ask another question” with hope in her eyes and Serena nods.  
“When did you know you had feelings for me?” Bernie asks shyly.

“I liked you from the moment you stepped into the gym, especially when you came in a little worse for wear shall I say, but knowing when the feelings got deeper, that was when we kissed, albeit briefly and accidentally” She says with her confidence dwindling “I wanted to kiss you since you threw the ice at me and I poured it over your head out of revenge” She laughed at the memory as Bernie playfully swiped her arm. “I struggled from them to separate my feelings as a physiotherapist and patient to well naughty things!” Serena blushed remembering the time she watched her undress in the mirror unbeknown to Bernie.

Bernie gave a honk of a laugh “I too found you very attractive straight away, when you asked me to do those exercises at my flat, I nearly pushed you to my bed…….everything I did had you in mind” Bernie said earnestly. “Then we shared that kiss, you frazzled my brain!…..The dreams I had that night good god…….. I could have been arrested for indecency” her flush grew to her chest as she recalls them vividly “But my heart broke when you were not there yesterday, at the gym I mean, then to read your letter…..I lost all hope.”Serena interrupted with another kiss, deeper this time as her tongue insisted on entering Bernies mouth, when they finally parted breathlessly, Serena explained “I forgot to tell you I was on leave, I didn’t mean to cause you distress…..it was an honest mistake forgetting to tell you..….. but on the other hand I thought the break would do us both some good, well that was until you showed up here!” Serena chuckled. “I can’t seem to get rid of you can I major?”

Bernie smiled and hid behind her fringe “I don’t think you can now major” she replied with a smirk,

“No and I don’t think I want you to go now” She replied with her hand on Bernies thigh.  
“Fancy grabbing lunch together in the restaurant?” Serena asks with confidence now; Bernie held out her hand and stood, Serena took it and together they made their way to the changing rooms to dress for the restaurant knowing that they are looking at each other as they undress and redress.


	13. The afternoon at the spa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The massages are booked.

Lunch seemed to flow with ease, conversations were unstilted, contact with each other albeit brief was affectionate and appropriate for the place they were in, Serena’s favourite drink was drank between the two of them.  
“Why did you come here?” Serena asked Bernie out of genuine interest.   
“You said the spa’s do great massages and I needed one! It didn’t feel right to ask Donna when its your hands that I wanted and if I had one at the medical centre by Donna, I would have been disappointed……..Here no one knows me, I hadn’t got you as a memory here…..well until now” they both chuckle, “They had arranged for the massage room to be private and understood my needs, so I booked myself in for the day……enjoying the facilities that go with it.”  
Serena nodded “I completely understand and they are very good here……..this is my retreat holiday I suppose, I don’t like to go too far on my own…….” She trails off into her own thoughts of last time travelling abroad alone and being mugged. She gave a harsh shiver, Bernie could tell just by looking at her, that something bad must of happened.  
“I was mugged in Turkey……Someone pushed me to the ground, held a knife to my throat and took my bag, my hotel key and phone….” Tears springing from her eyes, Bernie gets up and wraps her arms around her. “I’m so sorry Serena” she says “you’re safe hear” she whispers in her ear as Serena wraps her arms around Bernie’s neck.

They order pudding after Serena manages to regain her composure. They both unconsciously but then consciously tease each other with dessert.   
Serena has ordered strawberries and cream, Bernie has ordered the chocolate mousse.

Serena takes a rather large strawberry, licks its full length and then dips it in the runny cream only to wrap her lips tightly around it to hum as she bites down.   
Bernie watches every single movement gulping; as revenge she uses her index finger dips it in the mousse, drags it down the full circumference of the cocktail glass, puts it knuckle deep in her mouth and slowly drags it out with a pop.   
Serena too watches and is now fidgeting in her seat, she grabs another strawberry, uses the point of it to get some of Bernies mousse on its tip, dunks it in the cream then sucks the chocolate mousse and cream off before trying to take a bite; it is the hand of Bernie grabbing her wrist and pulling the strawberry to her mouth and takes a bite all the way to the leaf and licks her lips seductively.  
This is how they carried on until it was all eaten, a dance of lust between the two of them.

Serena remembers that she has her first massage booked in - a head massage. While she goes for that, Bernie goes back and enjoys the gardens for a walk, knowing her appointment would be in an hour. Her nervousness mounts as the time drew nearer, the thought of someone witnessing her scars, no-one has seen apart from medical staff. Her chest tightens and she has to sit down, its the start of a panic attack; she only has about 15 minutes to regain control before going into the massage room and she doesn’t know where in the grounds she is and that makes her panic even more. Until a familiar voice appears from behind the hedge, Serena notices the panic in her eyes and sits next to her, holds her hands and gently talks to her out of it. They end up walking around the gardens to take her mind of it, mainly in silence now her breathing is under control.

“I have to go Serena, to have my massage that is……erm…..can I……..can I ask you to be with me please?” Bernie stutters, Serena smiles and nods; together hand in hand they go back to the massage room, the masseuse tries to stop Serena from entering until Bernie states she needs her there, Serena sits in the chair at the head of the table so she would always be in view of Bernie.

Serena starts to get uncomfortably jealous when the masseuse brushes her hands up Bernies spine and over her shoulders. Her eyes are trying to set her on fire or to spontaneously combust, Bernie neither doesn’t look as though she is enjoying it either, she is certainly not relaxed. “Can you give me a minute please” Bernie asks as she tries to sit up, suddenly remembers she has no top or bra on, the masseuse nods and tells her to find her when she is ready again.

“I can’t let her do this Serena” Bernie whispers trying not to look at Serena, “Why Bernie?” She cautiously asks “is it because I’m sitting here? I can go if you want?” Serena continues.  
“No” Bernie rapidly fires her answer  
“Then what is it?” Serena asks lifting Bernies chin so she can look in her eyes.  
“Its…….its not you” she responds earnestly. Serena smiles and pecks a kiss to her lips, we can go to my room and I can give you a massage if you want?” Serena replies, Bernie is now smiling “if only you’re sure Serena ….. you’re on leave so you don’t have too” hoping she would say yes.  
“I will be honest, I didn’t like her touching you either Bernie…….I felt like she was taking my place away from me…..stupid I know!” Bernie stops her there, “its not stupid if I feel it too.”  
They both got up and left sending their apologies to the masseuse heading straight to Serena’s room with a quick walk again hand in hand.


	14. Back at the room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The massage

They get to just outside Serena’s room when they both stop and look at each other nervously, they have confronted their feelings, found they are jealous of someone else massaging Bernie, and neither of them have discussed anything further apart from meals at each others flats.  
This has just all of a sudden felt different, they are no longer at the medical centre or gym, it is not a meal been cooked by the pair of them, this is a massage that they both know could lead to something more.

Serena drops the keys and Bernie goes to pick them up at the same time as Serena, bashing their heads together in the process. Both holding their heads giggling and leaning into each other, their eyes meet again and they both lean in to a kiss; this one is a little more heated, sloppy and tongues. Bernie hums a kiss into her neck as Serena opens the door.

Once in the room and the door is shut, they both stand by the bed and look at each other, not knowing what to do next. It was Serena who started to talk first “on the bed major” her voice is deeper than Bernie has ever heard it, she nods and sits in the bed, with her back to Serena - not that it made any difference as their was a full length mirror right in front of her - she took off her top and bra and laid face down on the bed, Serena watched her undress through the mirror and enjoyed the view Bernie was supplying. Bernie smirked as she planted her face in the pillow knowing the view she gave and knowing she was watching.

Serena fetched her body cream from her suitcase and knelt down in the middle of the bed, lathering her hands with plenty of cream she starts from the top of her waistband at her hips radiating outwards using the pressure of her fingertips to undo the knots firmly but gently.  
Bernie hums in pleasure relaxing under the ministrations enjoying the massage far more than the professional masseuse was giving her knowing it was Serena’s hands she wanted, no needed.   
Serena’s hands crept up each time it goes higher Serena takes her hands further around the sides of Bernie’s torso, brushing the edge and swell of Bernie’s breast. Bernie gasps every time the tips of her fingers touch the edge of her breasts and turns her head to look directly at Serena who is smirking knowing exactly what she is doing.

“My legs are stiff, my thighs have had such a workout while swimming today too” Bernie informs while face down in the pillow, Serena smirks.  
“Really major…….and what would you like me to do about it?” She flirtatiously replies, her index finger at her lips as to think of a resolution. Bernie watching her in the mirror.  
“Maybe I can have them massaged too?” Bernie shyly requests now going bright red.  
“Well you can’t have it done if your jogging bottoms are still on can I?” Her smile getting wider, Bernie sits up again facing the mirror, caresses her breasts and stands stretching and arching her back towards the bed; slowly she bends down and takes her jogging bottoms with her, leaving her boxer lace knickers for Serena to admire.  
“Back on the bed major” Serena purrs enjoying the view in the mirror and her perky arse currently facing her. Bernie complies and looks straight into her eyes with a naughty glint appearing.

Serena this times straddles Bernie at her lower back, top of her pelvis, she grabs the cream and blobs the cold cream on Bernie, she squeals at the sudden coldness “thats cold Serena……thats not fair!” Serena chuckles.  
Slowly one hand on each thigh starting at the middle if them working towards her knees first; finding that Bernie is very ticklish at the crux of her knees, she laughs a loud honk and wriggles. Serena carries on tickling until Bernie pushes her hips up towards Serena’s hot aching core; Serena moans and abruptly stops at her knees and pushes her back down with her hands splayed on the cheeks of her arse, squeezing and opening them slightly; It was Bernies turn to moan and grounds her pelvis to the mattress.

Serena carries on her massage on her calves to her ankles and coming back up missing her ticklish spot at her knees all the way to the curve of her buttock, Bernie was enjoying the pressure to her pelvis in a rocking motion and misses is immediately when Serena gets off her and lies back on the bed next Bernie looking directly at her eyes smiling.

“Thank you” Bernie murmurs as she presses her lips gently to Serena’s, bringing her hand to cup and stroke her cheek. It was Serena that deepened the kiss asking for access to her mouth with her tongue stroking her bottom lip, it is granted and slowly touched by Bernies.  
Bernie moans and pushes Serena to her bed still their lips locking together, her hands move over Serena’s upper arm to her elbow then brushing the underside of her breast. Serena gasps and arches her back and whispers her name.

Bernie suddenly stops and looks at her “I think we need to stop” she pants, “If and when we do this, I don’t want it to be in a spa bed. I want it to be in one of beds at home and having clear heads……..we have only acknowledged today, our feelings for each other.” Hoping to convey that she does want to continue but at a more appropriate time.  
“Yes…….yes….….we should wait……but what do you want to do about us Bernie?” Serena asks hoping that she wants her.  
“You know I want to see where this goes, as long as you do.” Bernie asks waiting for Serena’s response.  
Her smile was big, her eyes bright and teary nodding tangling her fingers with Bernies; “slowly though, shall we?”  
Bernie nods squeezes their fingers and replies “slowly.”

After a small time enjoying being together in silence Bernie shivers, now going cold. “I’d better get dressed” she whispers and Serena nods “yes can’t having you getting cold in those bones.”  
Serena watches her getting dressed “I shall not see you until my leave is over now” Serena whispers glumly.  
Bernie smiles “We shall have to organise you to come around and teach me to cook” and winks.  
“Yes we shall…..I will text you and will see you Wednesday next week at mine though…..I shall cook….yes?” Serena asks cautiously.  
“I would like that…..I will bring the wine” Bernie giggles “the least I can do”  
She is now fully dressed and places a peck to Serena’s lips, 

“Until next Wednesday?” Bernie says goodbye

“Until next Wednesday” and Serena waves as she closes the door.

Serena sighs happily into the mattress, and Bernie happily walks out of the spa facilities, for once seeing a happy future.


	15. Physio and no Serena

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie goes for physio and there is no Serena.

Bernie’s first appointment after the spa was with Dr Hansen, she explained what she had achieved since they had last had a session, that Donna now was her new physiotherapist, she had attended a spa to try and have a massage but wasn’t at the stage yet she felt comfortable having another persons hands on her body; she has a plan for her future if she doesn’t get back to full fitness to work within the army “I want to try and work for the NHS, I have been looking at local vacancies as I don’t want to be too far away from my family again…..oh and I have had regular contact with my children, we have met….finally”. 

Dr Hansen seemed very pleased with her progress but had noticed she had left one person out in particular, Major Campbell. Not one mention, not even explaining why Donna was now her physiotherapist instead of her. “Major Wolfe” he starts “you normally have spoken about Major Campbell, but it seems that today you have not mentioned her once…….can you explain why?” He looks at her intently, knowing that he wants an answer she starts off with the truth, well its mainly true apart from them declaring their feelings for each other anyway.  
“She is on leave” was her answer, simple and straight to the point.  
Dr Hansen poked further “and?”  
Bernie looked puzzled “and what Dr Hansen, she is on leave……not on base and not my physiotherapist anymore, Donna is……she seems more than capable and I have been promised no more changes and Major Campbell has left her instructions on how to proceed with my care.”

He let it go for today, noting to bring it up again at their next appointment the following week. She was dismissed and headed back to her flat knowing that tomorrow she was at the gym and needed to eat, luckily she pulled out a curry that they had made and froze for such circumstances.

The following morning Bernie arrived at the gym 10 minutes early and started on her workout. Donna was close by and watching her do her warm up exercises, but today she had another person following her. Bernie suddenly felt uneasy, she couldn’t cope with another change so was about to make her excuses and leave when she was stopped.

“Major Wolfe are you ok?” Donna asked concerned.  
“No I don’t feel all that well I’m sorry I have to go” Bernie said and tried to make a quick exit until Donna stopped her once again and escorted her into one of the changing rooms.  
“What the real problem Major?” She enquires “I thought we were ok?"Bernie nodded quickly “we are…its just……just….”  
Donna clicked in, "you don’t want our trainee around do you?” Bernie flushed and lowered her head “it’s ok Major, she can be passed onto one of my other colleagues if your not comfortable.” She says as she lays her hand on Bernie’s bicep, Bernie looks up ashamed not just because of her body but of her insecurities and trust in others, she had come such a long way this week, she felt she was taking a step backwards.  
“How about we workout on your regime together in the small gym away from others?” Bernie lifts her head in surprise “We all have our wobbly days major, its nothing to cause you to have a panic attack over or worry over neither”. Bernie smiled and followed Donna to the small gym and carried out her exercises in good time and effort.

Donna tried to broach the subject again when she was in the warm bath, knowing she felt more at ease now than at the start, “Major can I ask you something personal?”  
Bernie cautiously nodded.  
“Why did you panic, when you saw I had a trainee with me? You yourself have trained many newbies in your time, so what made you panic over this one?” Donna asked carefully not knowing if she was going to bolt, shout or not even give an answer.  
“I……” Bernie started to explain, knowing that she needed to be honest. “I didn’t want to seem weak!” She whispered “Some of the troops see me as this figure that can do anything…..superhero type…..but I am just me…..I am a broken me at the minute”. Donna rubbed her arm and allowed her to continue “If I am to get back out there I need to be my old self again, not that I’m sure that is possible….I have changed, my marriage has gone, I am just starting to get back my children……and my options have opened up.” This final statement made her blush, her options opened by Major Campbell. Not that Donna was any of the wiser, nor would she click on to the fact they were now seeing where their relationship goes.

Donna told her that in the future, no matter how many trainee’s there were, unless she said it was ok then they would only work together. Bernie was grateful and knew she could change it when she was ready with no pressure attached.


	16. The evening at Major Campbells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Their first date together.

Bernie was very nervous to say the least, she hadn't seen Serena since they met at the spa. One minute she was feeling sick and then she would feel excited and then somewhere in between; she thought that maybe Serena didn’t mean what she said or had just in fact changed her mind since they last saw each other.   
Bernie just wanted tonight just to be perfect, so she went shopping for the first time since god knows when to upgrade her wardrobe including fresh new and pretty underwear. 

Shopping for clothes shouldn’t have been difficult, it isn’t for most women she thinks but for her it is pure torture - she would rather spend all day in the physio gym than shopping. The undressing and redressing, finding the right cut, colour and length. In the end she gave up and asked for the help from one of the shop assistants, she explained what the new outfits were for, that she doesn’t do dresses or girlie pink things, she likes her jeans and jogging bottoms, but apart from that she hasn’t got a clue. Thankfully the shop assistant did, so 3 pairs of skinny jeans later, 5 new casual tops of various colours, 3 new shirts one black, one dark blue and one white, oh and how on earth the woman managed to get her to try a dress on, she never knew, but once it was on she knew that is what she would be wearing tonight.

Underwear was another disaster, not knowing what size, cup size? Bernie looked blankly, then there were t-shirt bra’s, push up bra’s, ones like she used to go running in, maternity bra’s - erm I don’t think so! Sexy bra’s ‘are we at that stage yet?’ She thinks and smiles; plunge bra’s………. And the list goes on.   
One shopping assistant must have taken pity on her as her frown showed it all. “Can I help you?” She enquired chirpily “do you need measuring?” Well Bernie nearly bolted just from that question alone; She managed to control her nerves as the assistant patiently waited for an answer “yes please to both” she whispered all of a sudden again nervous.   
The assistant measured her and brought in a selection in her size and Bernie chose from them along with the matching knickers. So 5 sets in all, all different styles but all felt right and one even matched the colour of her dress, so the last things to get was a pair of shoes, as the only ones she owns are army boots, No 1’s shoes, and trainers….slippers don’t count do they? And then a couple bottles of the finest shiraz.

Bernie turned up on the doorstep of Serena’s flat, which was surprisingly only one street away and could be seen from Bernie’s bedroom - noted for later. In one hand was a bag containing 3 bottles of shiraz after not deciding on one or two types - who knew there were so many varieties, in the other hand was a large bouquet of flowers - because thats what you bring to dates right?

Serena opened the door and was gobsmacked at the sight in front of her, Bernie shyly smiled and handed her the bouquet “hi” she said just above a whisper, “hi” was the reply accepting the bouquet and smelling them as she walked backwards to let her in, “thank you there are beautiful. No one has ever brought me flowers before.” Bernie smiled at this and made a note to make sure that her vase would always be filled……except she didn’t have a vase! ‘why didn’t I get one with water already in’ she chastised herself. Serena placed them in a pint glass for now telling her that she would get one tomorrow and thanking her again, with that the bottles of wine were placed on the side.   
“Trying to get me drunk Major?” Serena flirtatiously said while wrapping her arms around Bernies waist and applying her lips chastely to hers, Bernie hummed and enjoyed the moment; Serena didn’t regret what she said, and this was definitely a date.

Serena drew back “I didn’t think that you even owned a dress and never a pair of high healed shoes” Bernie flushed and admitted she didn't until this morning, when she went shopping “but I had lots if help!” She admitted to a chuckling Serena “so you went to all this trouble for me?” Serena blushed at the thought and Bernie nodded “I like you Serena and I wanted to be at my best for you” she declared which earned her a more passionate kiss.

It was Bernie’s turn to look over her partner, she was dressed in black trousers, vest top and a beautiful bright pink shirt with lipstick to match, Bernie had never seen leopard print heels before but Serena could definitely pull it off. Bernie stroked the collar of the shirt “I love this colour on you, it brings out the colour in your cheeks especially when you blush…….so I will be trying to make you blush all night.” Serena immediately blushed a bright pink “see, beautiful” Bernie again took the opportunity again to kiss her.

The food was exquisite; Steak, chips, peas, fresh onion rings, mushrooms and freshly made salt and pepper bread to go with it. This was Bernie’s favourite meal, not that she ever divulged this piece of information followed by sherry trifle.   
The sherry was strong “now who’s trying to get me drunk major” Bernie retorted and Serena blushed again and smiled “I like to taste my drink if it has it in!” Serena declared “if you can’t keep up with my intake of alcohol then you had better keep trying.” With a wink.   
Bernie chuckled “we shall have a contest one day, to see who is the last one standing………and shots are going to be involved.” Serena gulped knowing that apart from the shiraz she can’t hold her drink well at all, she gets very horny and handsy when drunk.

The things are placed in the dishwasher, once it is put on they go into the lounge with their wine in hand, Serena places some music on - classical, not too loud, more background music really. Its not Bernie’s cup of tea usually but it is romantic so she enjoys the atmosphere that it is giving them, along with the dimmed down lighting; They sit closely on the 2 seater sofa and the nerves have returned, for both of them, there is an unnerving silence.

Bernie places her glass on the coffee table next to her and turns to Serena, her eyes flicker from Serena’s to her lips and back up again, they inch closer slowly until they meet.   
There are small whimpering noises coming from both of them and they both deepen the kiss, when they break momentarily Serena places her dink to the side of her and goes back to kissing Bernie partially straddling her, they lay down with Serena on top; the kiss is getting heated and Bernie’s hands have found the way to her skin at her waist and is caressing her waist with care not straying above her ribs or below her waistline of her trousers.   
Serena’s hand are dug and twisted in her hair, the luscious blonde wavy locks that are far softer than she could ever imaging until one of them lets go and reaches the hemline of her dress and caresses her thigh, edging higher and higher.

Serena pulls back and looks at Bernie who’s eyes are closed panting deeply, her lips move to Serena’s jawline, neck and collarbones; Serena groans deeply and only then did Bernie open her eyes.   
Both of them still, not knowing what the other wants, how far to take it….. whether to leave things like this or to carry on.

“I……I think…….hmmm…….erm……” Bernie stutters and has gone back to being a jibbering mess, “I think I should go” ‘see its not hard to form a sentence’ she thinks. Serena looks disappointed “I don’t want to go Serena, but……..but we are taking things slowly………but just so you know I want this and …….and I want you…….but we need to wait”. Serena smiles and lifts herself of Bernie, she nods in agreement but knows deep down they shouldn’t do this just yet as Bernie is still recovering. Bernie leaves shortly after, Bernie has Serena pinned up against the wall by the door kissing her goodbye with such passion, she is leaving Serena knowing that they are on the same page and will wait until the time is right.


	17. The physio and the bath.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW.

It was the first day back at work for Serena and Bernie knew that the meal yesterday went far better than she ever thought it would. They had kissed, and oh how they kissed; it was the first time in such a long time that Bernie had to take care of herself after she left Serena’s, it was a good job that they live so close together. So lying in bed watching Serena through the window, while she played with her clit and came, but that didn’t quell the thirst she had for the major. Her dreams filled with Serena in her bed, in the gym and in Serena’s flat, she wants to make love to her any way Serena will give.  
She tasted the forbidden fruit and yesterday it will be dangled in front of her nearly all morning as it is assessment day.

Bernie arrives her usual 10 minutes early. She doesn’t seek out Serena consciously, she can hear her laughter coming from the office and it makes her smile. Donna is standing in the doorway with the new trainee just behind her listening in to the tale that the receptionist is giving. The trainee turns to look over the patients in the gym when Bernie waves her over.

“Can you help me with this please” she nervously asks as the elastic band for her arm strengthening exercises has come off. The young girl nods and ties it back on with a smile, she goes on to show her a new exercise that is slightly harder than the one she did before, “it strengthens the forearm too” she shyly says.  
Bernie nodded and copied what she did, this caught the eye of Donna who saw the trainee was with Bernie, she was mouthing ‘sorry’ to Bernie when she shouted the young woman back and smiled at Donna letting her know that she was comfortable with the young girl.  
“My name is Liz” the young woman introduces herself with a handshake, Bernie wipes her sweaty hands on her towel and shakes it in return “Bernie, well Major Bernie Wolfe, nice to meet you and I’m sorry about the other day.” The young girl smiles “no worries I will leave you to it” Bernie nods, thanks her again and finishes her warm up routine.

Serena should have been busy in the office but she was otherwise preoccupied in her mind. She can see the sweaty Major in the gym on the bike, her legs are rotating fast, her thighs are tight, the sweat is dripping down her neck to her chest.   
Her mind definitely is not on the paperwork that is in front of her. 

She can see the improvement that Bernie is making, but can also see her potential too, she makes a mental note to tell her tomorrow when she is planning to pay an impromptu visit to her. The want, no need to see her is so big it scares her a little. ‘I need to see her today, never mind tomorrow but I need to see her on her own’ she thinks, so she hatches a last minute plan.

"Donna, can I borrow you for a minute please” Serena calls from the office into the gym. Donna nods and slows the bike down in increments and tells Liz to make sure she doesn’t cheat. Bernie playfully swats her arm in mock offence and goes to press the stop button when Liz taps her leg with the clipboard “don’t you dare major” she laughs.

Serena speaks to Donna as normally as possible. “I need you and Liz to complete this paperwork her tutor has just sent me, he apologises for the late notice but he needs it before lunch and its 10:30 now, I shall take over Major Wolfe for the remainder of the session…..…….. where are you up to?” She tries to casually enquire while her eyes are wandering over Bernie’s sweaty body.  
“She is about to finish on the bike then she is in the baths” Donna responds showing her how she has done on her assessment and shows her where she plans next to go with Bernie’s regime. Serena nods “very well, I shall carry on” she takes the assessment papers and heads over to Bernie and Liz, sending Liz straight back to the office.

“Morning Major” Serena greets her with her award winning smile.  
“Hello Major Campbell, did you have a good time on leave?” She asks knowing they are in earshot of other patients and staff, Serena nods and blushes.  
“I had a very pleasant time thank you, a really interesting discovery was made and I hope to pursue it in the future” she replied still blushing furiously.  
Bernie smiled “I’m glad, and I hope so too”.

“Right in the baths please Major” she suddenly says as the bike has come to a complete standstill, “I hope you don’t mind it too cold, I have just topped it up with ice cubes” Serena smirked.  
“I bloody hate you Major” Bernie grumbled now sulking, she sulked all the way to the room, she saw the bath was indeed full of ice “I really bloody …..umpfh” Serena locked the door and practically jumped Bernie, their lips met like a magnet picking up metal.   
Serena pushed her all the way to the side of the bath, nearly tipping her in fully clothed. When they finally did pull apart they were both breathless and smiling; Bernie kept her close by pulling her at the waist and wrapping her hands to her arse.  
“Ok, I don’t hate you really Major” Bernie whispered and Serena laughed, she tilted her head to the ice cold bath and Bernie groaned.

Bernie stood in front of Serena and slowly undressed, Serena went to collect her costume but Bernie got in the ice cold bath naked, to Serena’s delight and astonishment; a moan slipped from Serena as she bent over the bath to lower herself down slowly teasing her.  
‘Two can play at that game’ Serena thought. So Serena started to undress herself, Bernie had to be in the cold bath for 5 minutes, so she was going to make sure the tease lasted for the next 5 minutes, she intends to strip, get in the hot bath and wait for her.

She first bent over with her arse facing Bernie and slowly undoes her shoe laces, takes her shoes off and socks to follow. She sits on the floor, now facing her; with her legs in a wide v shape and stretches slowly to her toes, giving her a clear view of her cleavage. She lies down on the floor and arches her back and stretches her arms straight over her head.  
Bernie groans, she stays silent after but her breathing is quickening.

As she arches her back again, she lifts her arse off the floor and shimmies her jogging bottoms off, slowly down her legs.  
She turns over, up onto all fours then on her knees.  
Bernie knows what is coming next, her t-shirt…………  
With her back to Bernie she draws her t-shirt up her back, takes her arms out then off over her head and places it down with her jogging bottoms.  
Bernie lets out another groan, she has placed herself on her knees to look at the stunning woman who is teasing her. Serena places her hands back on the floor and brings herself to a standing position, still with her back facing Bernie.

She slowly lowers her knickers to the floor, picks them up and flings them to Bernie who catches it one handed; Bernie smells the aroma left on them, then placing them by her clothes, she has every intention to keep them for herself as a reminder of today.  
The final piece is uncovered at last, her bra that hold her plentiful breasts in place, she reaches behind undoes the clips and drops them on her pile of clothes minus her knickers and sways her hips to the warm bath.

“times up in there major” she drawls in her low sultry voice.

Bernie nearly falls out of the ice bath head first trying to get to the warm bath that is now occupied by Serena…..thank god she locked the doors.

Bernie composes herself and carefully walked over to the warm bath she stands behind Serena; she was waiting for her to move from the steps.  
“I need a password please major if you want to get in.” Serena said as she turns around holding onto the ladder handrail, preventing her from getting in.  
Bernie places her hands on Serena’s face and kisses her passionately.  
Serena finally lets her in after they break apart, once again breathless.

Bernie stays close but doesn’t attempt to touch Serena, however she does take great pleasure in ogling her, she places her head under water and eyes the beauty of her bush at the apex of her open thighs.

It was Serena that made the first move, she pulled her onto her lap; as she opened her legs further, to let Bernie sit on the bench in-between her legs.

Serena begins to massage her back, this isn’t like her past massages where she applies pressure to release the knots, this is a massage that makes her tingle everywhere she touches, these ministrations sends a heat directly to her core.   
Bernie is now rocking her hips in time with her strokes.  
Serena pulls her further back so Bernies back is now flush with her front, her hands snake around her stomach up to her her breasts and squeezes them playing with her nipples at the same time. Bernies hips move quicker and pushes her arse to the core of Serena, both moaning at the pressure. Serena places featherlight kisses to her neck, under her hairline to the other side.

Bernies hands are now stroking Serena’s thighs as far as she can reach, she picks up her legs at her ankles and wraps it around her, so Serena’s pelvis has changed its angle, she can feel her clit now rubbing her arse as she rocks her hips more.   
This pulls a sharp intake from Serena.  
“Ok?” Bernie asks  
“Ok” Serena answers both breathing heavily.

Serena guides one of her hands around Bernies neck applying little pressure but arching her back in the process, her other hand has slipped down to her hot core, she circles her clit a few times then places 2 fingers slowly into her. The heel of her palm rubs her clit as she gently thrusts in and out bringing Bernie to the peak, her insides have tightened around Serena’s fingers. “Come for me Bernie please, I need you to come for me” she whispers in her ear. Bernie arches her back further, raises her feet of the bath floor and comes juddering, Serena keeping her in place and gently bringing her down.

Once she has stopped twitching she slowly turns around with Serena’s legs still wrapped around her waist. She lifts her up onto the side of the bath and kneels down where Serena was just sitting and kisses her.  
It starts at her lips, her cheeks, her jawline, down her neck and chest, suckling on her nipples and areole until they are at stiff peaks; Down her stomach, she pulls her legs from around her waist and opens her legs wide, so wide that her lips of her core opens her up, for Bernie to see the wetness already their and not from the bath, the white creamy wetness brought from arousal.  
“May I?” Bernie asks and Serena nods “please Bernie, please”.

Bernie places Serena’s hands on her head and she lowers herself onto the awaiting core of the woman in front of her, she takes a swipe from the base near her arse hole, through her wet folds to the base of her clit.  
Serena shakes in anticipation.  
Bernie stiffens her tongue and proceeds to fuck her with it, trying to get as much of the creaminess out on her tongue.   
She then gently, with no pressure she uses the tip of her tongue to barely touch her clit. Serena took a big breath in and growled outwards.  
“Shhhh Major, your gonna have to be quiet if you want me to continue……… yes?” Serena nods and pulls Bernie’s head back to her core.

This time she takes no chances, her lips latch on to her clit and she suck and licks her hard, she is relentless. Serena’s breaths become ragged, her hands have her hair wrapped tightly around her fingers.  
Bernie places her left leg over her shoulder so she can use 3 fingers to enter her, curling a come hither motion hitting her g spot making Serena come instantly. Bringing her down from the intense orgasm, Bernie lowers Serena back into the bath onto her lap.  
Kissing passionately once again they hear a knock at the door.

“Is everything ok Major Campbell” it sounded like Liz.  
“yes all is fine, Major Wolfe is a bit stiff after her workout, so she needed a massage……..we shall be out in about 15 minutes.” Serena shouted back trying to shout without sounding breathless and that she has just been well and truly fucked.  
They both giggle into an embrace, their faces tucked in each others necks trying to silence their laugh.

“Well, so much for taking it slow” Bernie whispered to Serena smiling “I am not complain by the way…….I nearly took you yesterday.”  
Serena flushed at the thought “I watched you from the office and couldn’t wait any longer…….what are you doing to me Bernie?”  
“The same as you are doing to me Major…….making me incredibly horny!”  
They both laughed and got out of the bath.  
Once dressed they came together for one last kiss before unlocking the door so Bernie can leave the gym.

“Can I see you tonight” Serena asked, Bernie nodded.

“Until tonight Major” Bernie whispered  
“Until tonight” Serena said with a kiss to her cheek.


	18. The night at Bernies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As agreed Serena goes to see Bernie.  
> They talk and clarify a few things.

Bernie left the gym on a high, Major Campbell was everything she wanted in a woman, she was beautiful, her body was so sexy, she knew how to tease her to the max and her mind was as intellectual as her own. Serena knew what she had been through and was helping her, not in a sexual way but as a friend to get over the trauma of being blown up, loosing comrades that she could not save, losing her marriage and helping her to get back in contact with her children again. 

She was learning to be happy!

She no longer loathed her appointments with Dr Hansen, she quite enjoyed the tasks that he was setting, after all she wouldn’t have got this far with the beautiful Major Campbell if she was how she was before, a self destructive recluse. Bernie had become more open to everyone and can now mostly engage in simple conversations without becoming a gibbering mess - well unless around a certain major who strip teases her in the bath of the gym, but then who wouldn’t.

Bernie texts her children to see how their day is going, told them that she had her assessment at the gym and she was coming along nicely.   
She had sent off further paperwork to the local hospitals to see if she could start locum work there and explains to them her current medical conditions and how physically capable she is as it stands at the moment, that she would not be able to stand for long periods of time during surgery, but is making progress and by working, the progress will be quicker.   
What she hadn’t discussed with anyone apart from Dr Hansen was that she may not return to the army after all; that her need for the army is now out weighed by her need for her children and a certain physiotherapist.   
The only thing that really did worry her was she didn’t know where she would stand with Major Campbell, this was becoming just as important as her children’s thought on the matter; she was becoming incredibly close to falling in love with her.

18:30 and Serena is ringing her doorbell, Bernie nervously answers the door only to be greeted by Major Campbell pulling her into an embrace as soon as the door is closed behind her. Serena pushes her back into the door, holds her by her hair and kisses her thoroughly, she reciprocates the kiss and pulls her waist in tight.   
Once they finally come up for air Bernie leads her into the kitchen.

“I think we need to talk for a while Serena…….not about what has happened, but about where we see this going in the future.” Serena looks at her like a deer in headlights. Bernie hands her a glass of wine “I need to be honest with you, but I don’t know how you will react.” Bernie says nervously.Serena takes a large gulp of the wine and lowers her eyes expecting to hear that this is all happening too fast and she wants to slow down, after all she is still recovering and trying to get herself to some normality.

“I have been thinking about what I want, well what we want to be precise, after I have healed as much as I am going to” this brought Serena’s eyes to meet Bernie’s finally.   
“I am thinking I may not return to the army after all, that I work as a civilian here at Holby, so I can be close to you and my children”. Serena sighed and smiled still hopeful as she asked “so you see a future in us then?” Hoping for the answer to be yes, instead it was a better single word “definitely”.   
She sat there gobsmacked, the person that she met all of those weeks ago who couldn’t communicate with anyone has just made the bold statement that she see’s a future in them going forward, together.  
Bernie grabs her hands and kneels in front of her lifting her chin so their lips are millimetres apart, “the only future I see is with you in it Serena, a future where you meet my children, you sleep in our bed, we share a home together, and a home that is filled with love and affection…….something that I have never had before but can see it very clearly with you.” Serena wrapped her arms around Bernies neck and closed the final gap into a loving set of kisses.  
“My future is with you too Bernie, I have never been so happy, you showed up one day and you flipped a switch in my brain…….I love you.” Serena declared her love with no pre-amble just with love in her eyes “I love you too Serena, I really do.”

Bernie stands up and leads her into her bedroom, they undress each other while showering their bodies with kisses, for every garment is removed the skin is kissed, loved, caressed and adored.   
They lay on the bed together and re-touching every part of their bodies, taking in every blemish, scar and spots. They make love slowly and smoothly, fast and hard until both are fully exhausted and fulfilled. They are still facing each other when they fall into a deep sleep, entangled in each other. Its as if they cannot bear to be apart anymore now they have finally joined themselves together.

In the morning Serena wakes Bernie up by kissing her hot wet core, keeping it slow until she is fully awake, then she brings her to a hard long lasting orgasm that makes her shout out loud her love for the woman who is still between her legs bringing her down only to make her orgasm again, even though this one is smaller it is still toe curling, this one she can feel the love in her heart swell, knowing that she is finally where she has always wanted to be……happy.

They eat breakfast together and Bernie walks Serena around to her flat so she can get showered and changed before she starts work. The shower was one that Serena was supposed to take on her own, but as they couldn’t bare to be apart that long Serena beckoned her in on the pretence of her scrubbing her back. 

Bernie did indeed start to wash her back with the shower gel, she covered her shoulders, her ribs, her waist then she rinsed her hands, once clean she then got Serena’s hands and placed them on the tiles in front of her, she ran her fingers up Serena’s arms down her waist and around her arse, squeezing and pulling the cheeks apart gently. Bernie nudged her feet further apart and stroked her core a few times before gently entering a single finger, withdrawing it shortly after finding the angle hard to work with.   
So she pressed her front to Serena’s back and caressed her breasts until they became hard and erect, Serena is arching her back so much she is inadvertently rubbing her wet arse on Bernie’s curly mound causing friction to her core.

Bernie then lowers her hands to Serena’s hot core and circles her clit with one hand and enters her with 2 fingers on the other hand. She is barely touching her clit at first, gently thrusting causing the arousal to build; it is only when Serena starts to beg for release Bernie increases the pace and touch bringing her to a shuddering orgasm.   
Serena slides down Bernie and ends up like a rag doll on the floor, unable to stand even if she is assisted.   
Bernie sits down and wraps herself around her until she can move once more and eventually stand.

Time is running out and Serena needed to get dressed ready for work and Bernie needed to head to her appointment with Dr Hansen. They shared the final moments with chaste kisses before leaving hand in hand out of the block of flats, as soon as they got out into the fresh air they untangled themselves and parted ways, with smiles on their faces.


	19. Dr Hansen and an interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie is nervous for her interview and Dr Hansen has some very probing questions.

Bernie’s first port of call for the day was her appointment with Dr Hansen, and she was rather strangely looking forward to it; which really did surprise her, as she thought that she would loathe this type of therapy. The tasks that she was given she was unsure of at first, but then as she worked on them, she found it really did help. 

The open dialogue with her children can be stilted but only where the army is concerned, her relationship with others outside of the army barracks were coming along too, this was mainly due to her building her confidence up and being open to people.   
The conversation that she even has with the pizza delivery guy has increased, he now pops in for a cold glass of coke or juice rather than the door being slammed in his face and money being slapped in his hand; she has learned that he is expecting a baby soon and has just moved to accommodate the young arrival.   
It was something that she never envisioned in her life.

Dr Hansen was as punctual as ever calling her through to the consultation room, she this time laid on his futon. She was so relaxed and waited for him to start the topic on conversation for today.   
What she didn’t expect was him to ask about Serena right from the word go!

“How is Major Campbell?” He asked as straight as anything.  
“I’m not sure” she lied tried to be convincing but the upturn of her lips gave it away, “she has returned from leave, I saw her yesterday at my physical assessment.”   
Her eyes now glazed as she recalled their kiss this morning.  
“How was she this morning?” He asked with a smile on his face.  
Bernie slowly turned her head and looked at him like a deer in headlights, “erm, erm…..this morning?” She said back not sure what to say. She thought for a few moments, cleared her throat and breathed deeply, all a stalling tactic.  
“Yes this morning, I saw the two of you leave her block of flats this morning.” He looked at her straight in the eye, while placing his hands flat on the desk.  
“She is well, I think…………I forgot some of my exercises as they have recently been changed…..I was on a walk when she shouted me over.” Now she was trying to believe her own lies.  
“Right, I see………” he hummed as he wrote something in his book.

 

“How are your children?” He changed the subject much to Bernies relief.  
“They are well, happy that I am progressing physically and mentally. They are going to be enjoying a holiday together soon, Greece I believe.” She was far more comfortable talking now. “They are going with their partners, for the first time for the both of them……I have yet to meet their partners yet.” She waited with baited breath for the next question, she had a feeling what was coming, and it had something to do with Serena.

Dr Hansen took a big breath in and asked “when will they get to meet Major Campbell in return?”  
‘SHIT’ was her first though ‘how the heavens does he know?’ Was her second.   
She didn’t answer just nervously wrung out her hands and jerked her knee up and down.  
He was persistent she gave him that, he wasn’t going to ask another question until she answered this one……and he did wait, nearly 10 minutes passed and Bernie gave out a large breath.   
“Hopefully soon” she whispered, not quite believing she was admitting her relationship, not that she was ashamed, just that they wanted to keep it between them for as long as possible - preferably until she has finished her physiotherapy.  
He smiled and wrote more things down in his book “I am very happy for you both.” Bernie shyly smiled and tried her best to relax again.

“You are making great progress Major Wolfe, I have one more task for you to do, but it will be your final task when you complete it.” Bernie looked at him with again with baited breath, she didn’t think she would like this task.

“I want you to write 5 things down that makes you happy.” She looked at him with surprise, ‘5 things that make me happy’ whirled through her mind. ‘I can do this’ she nodded and went to leave.  
“A word of warning Major Wolfe, happiness is not in materialistic things such as plenty of money, as material items does not feel.” He rose from his seat and firmly shook her hand, see you on Friday he says handing her an appointment card.  
She leaves feeling lighter but nervous, waiting for the next appointment of the day was going to be hard.

Bernie had 4 hours to kill before making her next appointment, this was with Ms Tate and some board members of Holby City Hospital who are greatly interested in hiring her as a consultant for a trauma unit they are about to build. It wouldn’t involve any clinical work for the time being, but she would be advising on initially setting up the trauma unit, how it needs to be run, staff training and then being the lead consultant.  
Her nerves were getting the best of her and she couldn’t settle so she went to the gym. It wasn’t the fact that she wanted to see or speak to Serena, she just needed to keep herself occupied until she goes for the interview.

Just as she walked through the gym doors, Serena was in the main area of the gym with a patient. Bernie went over to Donna and asked if she could use the smaller gym again for an hour or so, then use the shower.   
She told her that she has an interview later and needed to work through some stress. Donna agreed and told her that she would be alone, but one of them would pop in every now and again to see how she is getting on, Bernie was grateful and left to get changed.

About half an hour into her session, just after she warmed up Liz stepped in and made sure she was ok, she handed over her file so she could follow her new , now usual routine, that was if she wanted too.   
Bernie thanked her and looked once again over her new regime; once she was clear, Liz left her to it. 

Bernie didn’t see anyone else for about three quarters of an hour when Donna came in, Bernie had written some notes down on her sheet to show what she has done so far, she only has the bike and treadmill to go now, she always tried to save the best until last if she was allowed.   
She loved the bike and treadmill, she could see and feel how much stronger her legs were becoming and her stamina too!   
Even though she was having doubts about going back in the army she wanted to at least pass the physical exam, that was her original goal after all.

Bernie made a mental note for that to be her first goal - complete the physical exam within the timeframe - that was number 1.

Bernie went into the showers to wash the sweat off her body, just before she stood under the shower she heard a knock on the door. She wrapped a towel around herself and opened the door just a slither and watched as Serena’s eyes lit up at the bare skin showing. Bernie stood back silently but with a wide smile and let her in locking it back up afterwards.

Serena once again pounced on Bernie and wrapped her hands around her shoulders, Bernie pushed her back to the door and kissed her back thoroughly.   
They managed to remain some sort of composure as they knew that someone would come and see how Bernie is, not knowing that Serena is already making sure Bernie is ok…………doing this by kissing her until neither of them can breathe properly.  
They whispered ‘I love you’s’ as she left her to finish her shower alone and attended to her next patient.

Bernie arrived with 10 minutes to spare for her interview. She had compiled a few note cards with idea’s on them, so she could expand if she got stuck on what to say.   
Her 25 years plus as an army trauma medic would go along way to getting the position, but she wanted to make sure that as a person, she knew she would be right for the job; but that meant being more open and communicative, something that she was better at and still learning from.

Ms Tate and the board was suitably impressed and showed her around AAU, where the trauma centre was to be based. She met a Ric Griffin who was the clinical lead on AAU, Nurse Fletcher - who was the ward manager, Doctor Digby a registrar who seemed a delight and then she met someone she already knew, very well indeed……….. Dr Dunn a newly qualified F2. 

They stood there and didn’t say anything to anyone, just staring at each other in shock for a minute or two.   
“Do you know one another” Ms Tate asked as both of them looked shocked to see each other.   
Bernie cleared her throat “yes, he is my son…….I didn’t tell him about applying for this position, until I knew I had the job, so to speak.” She maintained eye contact with him, trying to gauge his reaction, he eventually smiled goofily at her. 

“I never thought she would consider leaving the army, unless she was in a box” he quietly said as the two of them and Ms Tate walked just off the ward.  
Bernie smiled “I am doing this for us Cameron, I would leave the army for us.” A tear dropped as he enveloped his mum in a fierce hug, they hadn’t hugged like that for a long time, maybe as a small child. “Then I wish you the best of luck mum, and I hope we can work together soon.” These were his parting words as he escorted a patient onto AAU, who had just arrived and looked gravely ill.

“I think that you would get to work together rather soon” Ms Tate piped up offering her hand to shake “I will send the contract in the post, if you have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me.”   
And with that she left a stunned Bernie at the entrance to AAU, where she would be a consultant to the new trauma unit.

On her way out she immediately rang Charlotte who thankfully picked up straight away, they agreed to meet for a coffee at a pub called Albie’s as she was due to meet her brother there shortly anyway.  
Charlotte too was surprised by her mum, that she was even considering and applying taking a job outside of the army, and was thrilled that she was no longer going to be stationed out of the UK in war torn countries.   
She was proud of her mum for her work, but feared always for her safety.

When Cameron joined them she finally admitted that she was seeing someone, it was early days but they were very much in love. Bernie told them her name and that she is in the army too, but she is a physiotherapist and would always be based here in the UK.   
They had agreed to meet once they both got back from Greece to meet all of their respective partners, they chose an Italian restaurant just outside of Holby, but close enough to get taxi’s back as they all would be having a drink or three - she was bringing Serena after all.

They went there separate ways and Bernie found herself back at Serena’s flat, wanting to tell her the news; knocking gently on the door trying not to disturb her neighbours. This was when Dr Hansen appeared just coming out of his flat, which coincidentally was next door to Serena.   
They politely said their hello’s and good evening as he went down the communal stairs. Serena finally opened the door to see a bemused Bernie waiting to be asked in.


	20. Three weeks later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie and Serena finally meet Bernie's children.
> 
> Bernie makes a few decisions of her own along with Serena.

Neither of them knew who was more nervous, meeting Cameron and Charlie for the first time and Bernie meeting their respective partners. To add to it Serena’s and Bernie’s relationship was still secret apart from Dr Hansen, it was discovered that he lived next door and had seen Bernie arrive and leave with Serena, and the subsequent noises that comes with having loud sex, so they vowed to keep the noise down out of respect, but they were not so quiet when they were at Bernies.

Serena and Bernie arrived at the Italian restaurant before Bernie’s children, so the got themselves a bottle of shiraz and two glasses and waited for them to arrive.   
Bernie’s hands were shaking and her leg again twitching so Serena put her hand on her thigh to ground her, they shared a moment when the world around them went quiet and it felt like they were the only two in the room. 

What they didn’t see was Cameron and Charlotte watching their exchanged looks through the glass, they too shared a smile between themselves as they watched and told their partners which one was which, not that they needed to guess as Charlotte was the spitting image of her mum and Cameron had her curly locks and pointed nose.   
They entered the restaurant and Charlotte gave a little cough to bring them out of their gaze, Bernie shot up and hugged her children, Serena stood and gave them a handshake, they introduced each other and sat as Bernie went to collect their drinks from the bar.

“Its nice to meet you finally” Charlotte says with a warm smile “mum has told   
us so much about you.” Serena blushed “I hope it was all good.”   
Cameron laughed “it was until she was swearing at you for the ice bath……I must thank you by the way, it has given us many giggles.” Serena sighed in relief, but she was sure that they didn’t know the full truth about the ice bath and the warm one that took place afterwards.  
“Yes well she swears at me all the time too, apparently she hates me when I send her in there!” They all chuckle and Bernies children explain to their partners that Bernie has to sit in a ice cold bath for 5 minutes after her physio, to help her muscles heal. 

Eva, Camerons partner chirped “I bet she doesn’t need to do the ice bucket challenge then!” Cameron smirked and Bernie pointed her finger at them all “no idea’s you lot, I have enough with this one trying to cool me to an iceberg……you so know I prefer my showers as hot as I can get it.” Serena blushed as though she had just stood under the hot shower remembering last nights antics. Bernie just squeezed her leg and smiled knowing exactly what was going through her mind.

The waiter came and got their order and they went back into comfortable conversation. Jacob, Charlotte boyfriend had just passed his bar exam and was a practicing lawyer, mainly in immigration but on occasions he delved into family law if the need arises.   
Eva, was a doctor who was at St. James’ who was specialising in CT, Cameron turned his nose up every time she goes on about holding a heart in her hand, he would prefer general every day surgery that could sometimes just be as thrilling and complicated, but had a wider range of body parts to place the knife.

Serena explained what got her into physiotherapy and the army, she tells them that she joined as a medical professional that was only to be based in the UK for returning soldiers who was injured in the wars, most of whom were treated by their mother and would only speak of their gratitude for returning them safe even if they were never to be the same again.   
She spoke of her tenure that was due but was unsure wether or not to sign up for the next 10 years or to set up her own private practice; Bernie was looking at her with awe and surprise, they hadn’t discussed this at all yet, as Serena didn’t want to put too much pressure on their new relationship. 

Bernie didn’t mind really, as they had spoke in great detail about her not returning to the army after she had got the job at Holby City Hospital and was due to start there in just a little over 2 months.

Cameron shared his excitement for having the opportunity to work with is mum, she did warn him that he wouldn’t be treated any differently than the others, he expected to be treated a little harsher, knowing that he like to be pushed and his thirst for knowledge was every growing.

Charlotte still couldn’t believe that Bernie was going to leave the army, she decided that she would only believe it when she saw her mother no longer living on the barracks and actually working in the hospital. Bernie knew it was hard for Charlotte to get her head around and was going to prove it to them that they were the most important things in her life now along with Serena.

That was it, number 2 on the list……it was like a lightbulb moment so she noted it down on a napkin.   
2 - Family. She wanted to be safe in the arms of her family again, and she wanted Serena to be a big part of that.  
Her next thought was home. She stared at the napkin and just wrote, 3 - Home, wants to set up a new home outside of the army for herself, Serena if she agreed and possibly her children.   
She was on a roll. 

They ate their mains, ordered puddings and drank more, it was later than any of them thought it would be possible. They found themselves relaxed and happy. Bernie went to the bar to pay the bill when Cameron and Charlotte spoke to Serena after sending their Eva and Jacob outside to call for a taxi each. 

“We wanted to thank you Serena” She smiled and looked surprised.  
“Erm, what for?” She nervously asked.   
“Making our mum happy, we have never seen her so happy, helping her to recover…not just physically but mentally……….my dad never could do this and in some ways he was a bully to her, we were not completely surprised by the divorce but we were about the affair. We don’t want her to feel trapped again, and she is so relaxed with you its great to see her like this.”

Serena covered their hands with hers “your mum is a very special lady, I knew from the first moment I saw her records I had my hands full, but never thought it would be in this way…..…..and I am definitely not complaining!” They all giggled “Your mum only found out tonight about my tenure because I didn’t want her to feel pressured or trapped, and it was the right time now to bring it up, us all being so open and honest with each other”.   
They nodded in unison, even Bernie who had crept up behind her “thats why I love you” she said, “you make me feel safe and loved without any strings attached, unconditional I suppose, like my love for my children.” Serena had tears in her eyes as she rose and placed a kiss onto her girlfriends lips and Bernie kissed her back until a few coughs came from Bernies children.

They said their goodbyes when the taxi arrived and headed back to their homes, or Bernie’s in their case.

Once through the door Bernie silently took Serena’s hands and lead her through to her bedroom, they lay on the bed fully clothed but in each other arms.   
Bernie wanted to talk about what Serena had said in the restaurant but was unsure how to bring it up in conversation, so she took the napkin out of her pocket and showed her the 2 new realisations on what would make her happy.   
Serena looked at it carefully and placed her finger over the word home; she looked at Bernie wanting her to expand, she stroked her face with her fingers and looked into her eyes “with me?” She asked. Bernie nodded still cant bring herself to say anything. “In the barracks?” Serena again enquired, Bernie shook her head and stuttered “no, in Holby, a place of our own, together.” Serena smiled and placed a chaste kiss “do you want me to leave the army too?” Bernie looked at her puzzled and lifted her shoulder is an ‘I don’t know’ then smiled “I want you to do what you want to do, but I want us to live together, to build a home and a life together while I work in the hospital and you work wherever you want to.”  
Serena looked hat her as she managed to speak on a fluent sentence, her response was “I just want to be with you, the rest we can figure out when we need to.”

With that they fell asleep fully dressed in each others arms, the piece of paper was held tightly by Serena, knowing that the future was going to be together no matter what her decision was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you have all enjoyed reading this.......it is now coming to an end, the next one is the last.
> 
> Thanks for reading x


	21. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through hard work and perseverance Bernie was healed.  
> Not just physically neither.  
> This shows the end of a story and the beginning of a new era for them both.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene in here you may have seen from the Cazalets part 3.  
> It just struck me that Serena should do this scene with Bernie.

Bernie soon realised that her time was short, she needed to find a place to live outside of the barracks. There was just about 2 months before she started to work in the hospital and knew that once she was there, there would be little time for house hunting or furniture shopping etc. She wanted to spend her down time with Serena and her children, hoping that they would be close, soon again.

Bernie was aware that she may need to rent somewhere in between as the completion of the paperwork would not be done even of she brought a house today, which was unlikely but not impossible, too many legal issues to work through.   
Luckily Jacob, Charlottes partner has commandeered a co-worker who specialism is property exchange to be her solicitor, at a reduced ‘family’ price.

Bernie and Serena both had the day off and went house hunting together. The first one was a terraced house with 2 bedrooms, that was a no straight away…..not enough room for them all.   
The second house was a semi-detached 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a small kitchen and a smaller living room. Neither of them were happy.  
The third one didn’t works straight off! It was a detached house that was literally falling apart. It needed so much work doing to it to get it liveable, Serena wasn’t sure it could ever get to that stage.

The final house was a newly decorated barn conversion with 4 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a large kitchen, 2 large living rooms and a conservatory that opens up and over looks 3 acres of land then the woods that are just off their border. Serena fell in love with the place, she could see herself using the garage as a studio where she could work from home - a private practice; Dogs running around the garden, chickens to lay fresh eggs and Bernie sitting on the reclining chair soaking up the sun rays, making sure she has enough vitamin d.

Bernie was too in awe of the property. She envisioned a games room with a cinematic screen so they could watch movies and snog all the way through and not be interrupted. She too could see dogs running around, Serena baking her fantastic cakes and food while teaching her all of her knowledge of cooking, Bernie being tied to the sink after cooking up a storm. A large dinning table that maybe used for more than eating off! - maybe not.

“I love this Serena” she wrapped her arms around Serena’s waist as they looked over the garden through the conservatory doors. “We can be together here, what do you think?”

Serena unwrapped herself from Bernie’s embrace and sat down on the sofa, “I think we can be happy here Bernie, I truly do……….but there is only one thing that I ask…….and it is sort of a deal breaker.” Serena now nervous at what Bernie’s reaction was going to be. “I want us to buy it together, joint mortgage so it is ours and not just yours.”  
Bernie knelt down on the floor in front of Serena “I have enough money set aside to buy this our home outright, but if that is what you want I won’t object……….as long as we are together I don’t really care!”

Serena was gobsmacked, Bernie could afford to buy this outright……..how?  
Bernie could see the cogs turning in her brain so elaborated “my parents were well off and when they died I had a hefty inheritance, because I have always lived in the accommodation that was provided by the army, I never used any of it. If I was to buy this outright, the deeds to the house would be in both of our names. The money that you have saved or was going to use from a mortgage point of view could be used for your private practice and setting that up, thats if you want to.” Bernie too now was extremely nervous.

Serena smiled her beaming smile and nodded “I would love to do that, but I too don’t need a mortgage to buy half of the house, for the same reasons……so we can go halves and still have enough money to build the practice between us.”Bernie stood up and pulled Serena into her arms, picking her up and swirling her around, “so we shall do it together then…..lets put an offer in and see what happens next.”

The offer that was put in was accepted immediately and the legal paperwork started. They finally had plans together.

Bernie pulled the napkin out of her purse that she carried around, she had realised what number 4 was going to be.  
4 - Making it work, at work and at home. Building a life and a business with Serena.  
5 - Marriage. I want to marry Serena, we are going to be equals after all.

Serena was watching as she wrote, tears started streaming from her eyes, she was fully sobbing. Bernie didn’t know what had caused this, she thought that Serena may had just panicked and was having second thoughts.  
“Serena, talk to me…..whats the matter?” Bernie kissed her temple and guided her back over to the sofa and sits her down.

“You just wrote number 5…….it completed your task………..do you mean it Bernie?” She sobbed in the crux of Bernie’s neck.  
Bernie lowered herself down, placed herself so she was on one knee and smiled.   
She lifted Bernie’s head so they could look at each other.

“Major Serena Wendy Campbell would you do the great honour of becoming my lifetime partner in crime and my wife?” Bernie held her chin in place and the other hand covering Serena’s.  
“Yes of course I will” was Serena’s simple response followed by a passionate kiss, the estate agent caught what was happening and left them to it for a short while, when she re-entered she gave a small cough to signal she was approaching.

All the paperwork signed for and the previous owners told them she could move in straight away of needed as their parents had moved abroad and were no longer coming back to the house, it was all kitted out with furniture too - apart from their bed…..Serena insisted on them having their own brand new bed. Not that Bernie minded.

Calls were made to Cam and Charlotte with their engagement who were thrilled that their mum was going to be happy and married again. Serena did finally inform her work colleagues who were surprised as they had no idea that they were even dating, never mind anything else.   
Cam and Charlotte were already plotting hen party - he was going to become an honorary hen for the day / night, just so he could attend.  
They all met up later that night for celebratory drinks and a meal with their respective partners. 

Family was a great feeling, and so was being in love.

Bernie did complete the physical exam, she took it 3 days before she started at the hospital, the conversation with her commanding officer was difficult for her, but he completely understood.   
He knew that she wanted to be involved again with her family, and he knew that for him family always comes first. Duty is something that can break a family apart when a near death experience happens, but it is love that can heal the wounds.

Their marriage ceremony happened 2 years after Bernie proposed, Serena had set up her private practice and was doing some locum shifts at the hospital too……she was commandeered by Ms Tate, as she was a trauma physiotherapist, her knowledge was needed too.   
They did get 2 dogs, both labradors - a chocolate one and a white one; 4 chickens who do indeed give them fresh eggs, except for in winter.

Bernie found that family, love and marriage is what mended her completely. She was helped by those to get the process started, but it was her wife and children that knitted and bound the wounds together.

The pain was worth it after all. No pain, no gain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this, I hope I left it as you all wanted.


End file.
